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Transformation Comes From Changing Your Expectations to What You Want

Zen Breaks
Transformation Comes From Changing Your Expectations to What You Want
By Zen Breaks • Issue #40 • View online
ZEN BREAKS 40 - Your expectations will come true - change your mindset to change the outcome

“ Your feelings create the pattern from which your world is fashioned, and a change of feeling is a change of pattern.” - “Feeling Is the Secret” (1944), Neville Goddard.
121. Get What You Expect OR What You Want
Why you don't get what you want; it's not what you expect
Why you don't get what you want; it's not what you expect
Are our expectations what we really want?
Not very often.
They are usually what we think will happen, not what we want to happen, as the psychologist Jennice Vilhauer explains in this amazing TED Talk:
“What you want and what you expect are completely different.
An expectation is a belief about whether or not you’re going to get what you want.
As a psychologist that studies how people create their futures, one of the things I have learned is that having an expectation that differs from what you want isn’t just the reason you don’t buy lottery tickets.
It’s the reason why there are lots of things that you want, but you can’t quite seem to attain them.”
If we manage to change our mindset, and find the way to follow the steps to turn what we want into our expectations, we can find the path of transformation.
“When you expect to get a reward, you feel positive emotions like happiness and joy.
When you don’t think you’re going to get what you want, you feel sadness, disappointment, maybe even depression.
The larger the gap between what you expect and what you want, the more distress you feel.”
 According to Jennice Vilhauer, this is what can make the difference in our transformation: if we believe that what we want can happen, we will take action in that direction.
This is where the transformative actions come from. This is where we can change our live.
“When you have a negative expectation about a future event, it’s because you’re focused on all the things that could go wrong, why it’s not going to work out for you. You’re not generating thoughts and ideas about how to make it go right.
When you see a plan laid out in front of you for how to get what you want, your assessment of the situation starts to change; you begin to see the possibility.
This is where the shift happens.
Every successful action that you take towards that plan starts to change your expectations.”
She proposes several practical steps to make this conversion of our desires into our expectations. Here is a small summary:
“I’m going to give you three simple steps that will help you begin to shift your expectations.
What I want you to do right now though is imagine an upcoming future event: it can be a goal that you’re trying to achieve, a work presentation, an upcoming holiday event with your family.
Got it?
What I want you to do for step number one is:
Ask yourself,
"How is what I’m expecting making me feel?”
(…) Step number two:
Ask yourself,
“What would I like to have happen instead?”
(…) Step number three:
Ask yourself,
“What do I need to do to make what I want happen?”
Learn more in this TED Talk that can inspire and teach us a lot, it’s really worth watching.
"Positive Words" Personal Journal
"Positive Words" Personal Journal
Positive Words Journal: One Positive Word a Day Journal. A Notebook Journal for a Happy Life (Get to Know Yourself Journals)
"How To Be Calmer" eBooks
"How To Be Calmer" eBooks
“How To Calm Down” eBooks series - simple and practical ways to reduce stress in you daily life, by Zen Michael.
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