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Talking Is Not Communicating

Zen Breaks
Talking Is Not Communicating
By Zen Breaks • Issue #70 • View online
ZEN BREAKS 79 - Listen, don’t judge the message

“Most of us grew up speaking a language that encourages us to label, compare, demand, and pronounce judgments rather than to be aware of what we are feeling and needing.” - Marshall B. Rosenberg
154. We Can Learn to Communicate
Q&A with Marshall Rosenberg (sub-titles in Portuguese)
Q&A with Marshall Rosenberg (sub-titles in Portuguese)
Knowing how to communicate is essential for us to have a life that satisfies us.
However, will most of us, on most occasions, truly know how to communicate what we want to convey?
Will we be able to hear and understand what others are trying to tell us?
Probably not. The way we were brought up and the load of judgment we carry clouds our eyes and ears.
Often when we listen to someone we are just mentally judging everything the person says. We interpret their words according to our opinions and prejudices.
We end up listening to our thoughts more than the message.
We compare what the other person is saying with our opinion, rather than trying to understand what they are saying and the needs and requests behind their words.
The Nonviolent Communication (NVC) model, created by the American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, gives us some precious tools to try to adopt a more efficient and satisfactory communication model. Focusing on people’s needs and the power of observation rather than judgments, it proposes a form of interaction based on a collaborative system that benefits all parties.
In this video, Marshall Rosenberg answers a series of practical questions about how we can adopt a model of collaboration rather than competition in our interaction with others.
It gives us important clues on how to adopt a more natural form of communication, to meet everyone’s needs.
With this different attitude, we can communicate better to improve our lives - isn’t that the best reward we can get?
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