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how to REALLY gain 1 million followers...

The Diary of a Social Media Manager
Issue #10 • View online
Dear Diary…
In the week where the internet broke not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES, I couldn’t help but wonder if we’d all forgotten the titanic power of celebrity in the age of social media influencers. And if you’re wondering what on earth I’m talking about, this week was all about how fast you can gain a million followers. Spoiler alert it was fast.
Angelina Jolie joined Instagram, smashing the record for reaching a million followers (FYI - three hours), Taylor Swift joined TikTok, becoming the fastest to hit a million over there. And last, but by no means least, Kylie Jenner set up her new brand, @kyliebaby. reaching a staggering 250K+ followers through ONE tagged post on her Insta.
And while they’re breaking boundaries, you’ll find little ol’ me, telling my little ol’ jokes, on my little ol’ corner of the internet…

WorkInSocialTheySaid
no-one:

social media managers: two secs, just gotta post
So, I can’t get you a million followers in three hours, but I can try and send some funnies your way…
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If you, like me, have no time to keep up with what on earth is going on in the world of social media, checkout Geekout: The Ultimate Newsletter for Busy Social Media Managers, every Friday.
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YOUR BURNING QUESTIONS ANSWERED 🔥
Straight from my DMs and in to your inbox…
You wouldn’t believe how many questions flood in to my inbox each week. And honestly, most of the time, they’re things that I also want to know the answer to! Luckily, someone out there has our back…
sends another silent prayer to the social gods
So, here are the questions that most frequently appear in my inbox and their answers on a postcard. This week? It’s how to know which metrics you really need to be measuring (good news: not all of them), and how to resurrect the engagement on your Facebook page. Or at least try 👀
POV: you're a social media manager on vacation but you've still got YouTube to film...
POV: you're a social media manager on vacation but you've still got YouTube to film...
BRANDS KILLING IT ONLINE 💪
The only cheese worth following…
Yes. You heard me. Cheese.
To my newsletter squad, I present… Velveeta.
If you can turn processed cheese in to one of the greatest Twitter TOVs to have ever graced the bird app, you are truly a hero among social media manager men. The wacky dialect, the all caps, that time they randomly became an NBA expert… It’s like i’ve been transported to some strange alternate Velveeta universe. And tbh, I’m not mad about it. Here’s some of my favourite moments…
The best history lesson of all time:
Velveeta
OK SO...
- the samurai were officially abolished during the Meiji restoration in 1867.
-Abraham Lincoln died in 1865.
-Velveeta was invented in 1918.

WHICH MEANS THERE WAS NO TIME IN HISTORY THAT A SAMURAI AND ABRAHAM LINCOLN COULD'VE EATEN SHELLS AND CHEESE TOGETHER
The time they started a rap battle…
Velveeta
@dannyreallife @buckmasterflash Bring it. Cuz we rich, we creamy,
We oh-so-extra cheesy.
We ooze, we gooze
We got nothing to lose...
Not sure I even understand what’s going on in this one but I’m here for it…
Velveeta
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS SAYING "WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE STEAK UMMS??" AND ITS LIKE OK GRATE SUGGESTION BUT ALSO OUR SOSHELL MEDIA MANAGER IS AN IDOIT
CONFESSIONS FROM THE DMs 🤫
The agony and the ‘ex’-tacy…
BEST JOBS IN SOCIAL… 💻
Some opportunities are just too good to miss!
Digital & Social Media Assistant Manager @ La Mer, Estee Lauder
JOBS BULLETIN BOARD
THAT’S IT. THAT’S THE TWEET 👏
And the Best #BrandTwitter moment goes to…
When I say I screamed…
AAAAAND TWEETS TO MAKE YOU LOL 👍
My favourite #MarketingTwitter moments this week….
Kristin Ostrowski
i just run our social media i do not make business decisions please stop yelling at me in our DMs
Bill Lawrence
I’ve come to realize that Twitter is not a healthy place for me, neither in how it makes me feel, nor with how I behave on here. So, I’m taking a break from all social media. Be back after lunch.
Paras Chopra
Reading well-argued comments between two strangers online is one of the few remaining joys of social media.
THE ‘A’ MEME 👑
Your favourite meme of the week
If you made it this far, Happy Friday eve. Wishing you all social PR crisis free weekends. May the odds be ever in your favour.
Remember, my DMs are always open. Send me your secrets and confessions, or just let me know a little about you and your life as a social media manager. I’ll keep it all safe. Before publishing it on the internet, of course.
Work in social they said. It’ll be fun, they said.
Peace out ✌️
xoxo
OH, AND ONE LAST THING…
Follow me 📱
If you love memes, follow me on Instagram and Twitter for more.
Spill your secrets 🙊
If you’ve got gossip, confessions or want to share the realities of being a SMM, reply to this email or DM me on Instagram.
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