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Issue 17: Joan Crawford’s Holiday Handbook

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Are you reading this on an unfamiliar air mattress? Is the smell of coffee not quite enough to lure y
 

Woman About the Internet

November 24 · Issue #17 · View online
I am a writer, mother, and decent human being living in Seattle, Washington. My monthly newsletter pairs perfectly with the everyday and the End of Days. I think you're swell.

Are you reading this on an unfamiliar air mattress? Is the smell of coffee not quite enough to lure you out from under the sheets? Did you forget to pack actual pajamas respectable enough to lounge in around extended family members who do not regularly see you braless and flawless?

Well then. I woke up early in an unfamiliar bed of my own, scrolled through approximately 3,098 Black Friday emails, and bought myself a cheap room in a fancy hotel. After the holidays are officially behind us, I plan on whisking myself away for a weekend to write, dine on elaborate room service, and soak this body of mine in a giant tub. What do you call a babymoon that you take alone? Why does the word “babymoon” send chills down my spine? These are both questions I’m too exhausted to answer at the moment. I have several bowls of cold stuffing to attend to. 
Instead of tackling the tough topics I’ll leave you with evergreen entertaining tips to see you through this season of giving courtesy of Mommie Dearest herself. While I can’t recommend all of her life choices (see: general parenting philosophy and this horrifying recipe for French Banana Salad), she’s right about the vodka.
Source: @alexanderchee over on Twitter
Okay, Okay Here’s the French Banana Salad
Serve this "nourishing winter salad" to your enemies with a splash of vodka.
Finally, gaze upon this portrait of a dog who took time out of her busy afternoon to roll in something vile during our Thanksgiving meal while still managing to enjoy more turkey than is fitting for a ten-pound animal: 
To #blessed to be #stressed
I love you and you are deserving of great things.
xo Drew
Need to catch up on an issue? Explore the archives right here.
Some of my other writing lives here. If you’d like to follow me on Instagram, you can do so right here. I also hang out on Twitter.
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