1. Treat Every Outing as a Public Appearance
I treat every outing as if it were a public appearance. An unavoidable truth about life is that people will judge you based on your appearance. We all agree that what matters most is what’s on the inside, however, our brains are not wired to think that way — so we judge others and we are judged.
The judgement is not always verbal. Body language reveals a lot about how a person feels or thinks about you. If their body language is negative, your confidence can take a dive.
To boost my confidence, I trick my brain into treating every outing as if it were a public appearance. It makes me take more care about my appearance so that I feel confident before I even step outside the door.
When I do this I notice that I receive more compliments on my appearance, and people smile more when I make eye contact. When I ask for assistance I find that people are not only friendlier, they also tend to be more helpful.
Taking care of your appearance does not mean stepping out in designer clothes either. Being well-groomed and wearing a nice smelling fragrances can do wonders.
2. Treat Every Conversation as an Interview
Watch your words, they become your actions. It’s only a matter of time before you start acting out the words you speak. I am careful about the conversations I have in the privacy of my mind before I even open my mouth to speak.
I trick my brain into thinking that this is a conversation with a huge tabloid paper.
How would I respond or speak about myself to a journalist? I would speak with respect and humility.
Would I highlight the good things or focus on where I have messed up? I would focus on the good.
I would only speak of something negative if there was a positive lesson which could serve as a source of encouragement. I would remind myself: you may have tripped and fallen, but you got up again. Keep going. Don’t be afraid to fail. If you trip again you know you have it in you to pick yourself up again, dust yourself and keep going.
Would I put myself down or would I high-five myself and say well done? Of course I would go for the latter.
I speak well with myself. I speak good things about myself. I encourage myself when things don’t seem to be going according to plan. When I speak with other people I use the same strategy. It minimises negative comments and conversations which can dent my confidence.
Sometimes people will ask questions you may not be comfortable answering. Others will want to probe and interrogate you, much like a journalist would. I have learnt to give short answers or no answer at all. If they try to invade your privacy, you have the right to terminate the interview.
This happened to me recently during a conversation with an individual I had not spoken to for a while. At first, I thought it was a catch up conversation, then I realised they were trying to find something to make me look or feel bad. “Why did you do this? Why didn’t you do that?” It was none of their business - they were being nosy and invading my personal space. I pointed that out and they apologised.
People learn how to treat you and speak with you by how you treat and speak to yourself.
Treat every outing as if it were a public appearance. It will force you to take more care over your appearance. The better you feel about how you look, the more confident you will feel.
Treat every conversation as if it were an interview. It will prevent you from saying negative things about yourself, which could be used against you in the future. Speaking well about yourself will enable others to do the same. Hearing other people speak well of you will boost your confidence.