For the longest time if you would’ve asked me who I look up to I wouldn’t have been able to name anyone.
I had no positive role models growing up, which made deciding what I wanted in my life rather difficult.
What I did have fortunately or unfortunately were several negative role models.
Despite not knowing what I did want to do, something was clear in my life and that was that I knew what I definitely did not want.
I did not want to continue living and working in Aruba (my home country/ Island), I did not want to stop learning, and I did not want to turn into an ignorant selfish person exploiting others for my benefit (lots of personal backstory embedded in here but just go with it for now 😉).
To most people reading this, it will probably come across as very negative and resentful, but to me, while those emotions may be there there are still things I learned from them.
Being deliberate with your life and choices is hard and it’s even harder to feel like you’re making correct decisions along the way without a map or blueprint to guide you.
However, once you become clear on what it is you value it gets easier. From here you can find someone who has achieved the things you want (or similar) and effectively model some of your decisions based on theirs.
This person is known as a positive role model, mentor, teacher, etc.
But what if you had some pretty shitty people in your life? Are you just out of luck and is your life ruined?
Just kidding of course 😉!
This is where negative role models come in. While they don’t directly help us reach our goals in life they help us to come to the realization of the paths and actions we don’t want to take as we’ve seen the poor outcomes they have.
Whether it’s bad parenting, teaching, leaders/bosses, friends, or relationships there is always something you can learn from the experience.
Had a terrible parent and wondering if you will be the same?
Just avoid making the same mistakes they did and you will by definition be doing better than they did.
Always take the time to reflect on the negative role models in your life because their poor decisions/outcomes are your advantage moving forward in life.
You got to see what the outcome of their decisions and actions ended up being, now do and be better!