What the hell is up?
The other day I walked into a store and saw two people yell at each other as they worked a photocopier. Just as I retreated and thought a full blown fight was in the offing, Sara put her arm around me reassuringly and said—"They’re chatting. Welcome to New England
I had a great time. I ate clams, kayaked, spent time with family, watched seagulls holler as they shat on the shore… and I made some wonderful memories.
We are back home. 12 hour drive, including the quick stop at the Indian grocery store, where the lady at the counter shoved the plastic bag in my direction and asked me to pack the groceries myself (or go…). Aah, was missing India.
I am sorry this email got delayed. Writing—even something as simple as this newsletter—is so difficult. I learn this every weekend; on some weekends more than others. I miss my blogging
practice. That sort of ‘penning my thoughts’ on the regular gave me so much momentum to write. I want to get back to it in some form.
Last week, I played on an acoustic piano after three years. I have a difficult relationship with the piano. I took classes as a kid and those good-for-nothing grade exams too. My teacher was intimidating and I developed a fear towards the instrument; and some sort of guilt about not being a good player. I am very grateful that my mother insisted on me going to those classes, nonetheless. Music became a big part of my life because of that.
I am still trying to navigate how I feel towards the instrument and I try not to beat myself up, a constant with everything I do. It’s like this:—
Something intimidates you, so you avoid it. And because you keep avoiding it, it becomes more intimidating.
A vicious cycle. I am trying to rid this from all realms of my life. I think I have been largely successful in doing so this year. I am doing things that I have truly wanted to do all my life. I am excited for the remainder of the year.
That’s all this week.
See you soon,