Imagine, for a second, you’re able to see your dreams on a screen before you. That the environments you’ve explored have been reproduced in look and feel, and you’re able to see them clearly while awake. That would feel so strange, wouldn’t it? After all, we aren’t meant to remember our dreams like we remember our waking life. That’s just not how the brain works. Try as we might, even the most practiced dreamers, including those who keep a regular dream journal, can only attempt to capture these images in words and art. But it’s never true to the dream-memory itself. It’s merely an interpretation.
It nearly drives me mad — madder than I already feel I am — to not be able to capture my dreams exactly as they are in words or in drawings. I feel like the obsessed artist sitting at their desk, late into the night with only candlelight to guide them, piles of paper balls on the floor and in the wastebasket, as they write and then trash it, write and then trash it, over and over again because it isn’t perfect yet. It’s the biggest challenge I’ve given myself as a writer. To capture my dreams on the page exactly as my mind experienced them while sleeping like taking a photograph of an observable event in life.