I’ve be hard at work this week writing out the script for this next video, tapping out around 8000 words so far (it’s just one big mess of ideas lol).
Something has been bothering me though, a nagging thought in the back of my mind that just won’t go away.
“Why am I making this video?”
uhhhhhh, because I haven’t edited a devlog myself in years and it’s fun?
True, but not the main reason
uhhhhhh, because it’s been ages since I posted a devlog and I want to?
Nope, dig a little deeper
I’m gonna be real with you here.
If I don’t make this video, I don’t get any views, if I don’t get any views, I don’t get any money.
After spending all week trying to wrestle with this script, only now do I realise just how fucked this entire thing was from the get-go.
The only reason this video exists, is so I could earn a quick and easy buck, and not have to worry about my bank account drying up in 4 months.
The game itself started out innocent enough - small scope, small project, quick release - but it quickly morphed into a means to an end for this video.
The reason I booted up Unity, used premade assets from the asset store, and went with the flat vector art style (instead of pixel art) - was all so I could get this game done quickly within 2 weeks and create a video.
we all know how that turned out.
This entire project has basically just been one big ploy for keeping the lights on. This is not the place I want to develop games from, it’s all kinds of fucced up.
For all the recent talk going on in my mind about how “I should just do the things I want to do, without doing them for the sake of money” - this has been one big, fat, glaring contradiction rattling around in my subconscious.
My justification for this minor contradiction which has allowed me to continue working on this project for the last couple of months has been “I’ll just do it this one last time, and then I can do whatever I want.”
I’ve had one too many “one last times” in my life, and I can smell the bullshit radiating outta this one as well.
If I truly want to solve this issue once and for all, I’ve got to attack it right at the roots.
“Remove the branches of a thorn bush today and you’ll avoid a scrape this year. But next year, you’ll face the same problem again. Remove the root of the bush today, and the entire plant will die.” - James Clear