University was a horrible time for me. That may come as a shock to anyone that thinks it was the greatest part of their lives, but I did not get that quintessential college experience. I want to CU Boulder, so all I got was racism and cold fingers from -1F weather waiting for the bus. On top of that, I was going through school when centrism was at its absolute peak, and I was debating with people on why we shouldn’t let nazis have free speech in my Sociology electives.
So besides my rapid slide into radical leftism, Uni gave me only one other thing that I’m thankful for: time. As a student, I had a mixture of autonomy combined with free time that I probably won’t ever have again. Classes took up my time, but if I wasn’t there I had plenty of time to myself, even with homework. I never had a class before 10AM if I could help it.
Lots of time meant that I could play lots of videogames. Whatever hot release was out, I was there. Whether it was FFXV, Nier Automata, Tales of Berseria, or whatever random 3DS game I picked up from the shelf of the local mom & pop game store, I had ample time to play and finish everything I started. This was mostly to my detriment, in retrospect, but we’ll get to that.
That level of freedom that comes with time stuck around a little after college too. I mostly worked remote jobs that didn’t have much in the way of actual work - for every 4 hours I was actually working, there were another 4 where I was playing games on the clock (don’t tell my old bosses, lol). And then, of course, came the pandemic, where I had a lot of time to play games - between job hunting, of course.
It honestly pains me to admit now, having gotten older, but looking back on it, games have been a major part of my identity since I was 4 years old and was given a Game Boy and a copy of Link’s Awakening from my mom. You could even call me a…*blegh*…gamer. I’ve always loved to read, too, but games have been easiest for me to talk about, analyze critically, and find new ways to enjoy, whether that means picking up new genres or replaying old favorites to gain new insight on what I liked about them in the first place. They’re the reason I started this blog!
On top of all that, I was an anti-social gremlin for much of my life, which meant I hung out in online spaces to talk about games long before the internet congealed into 3 websites. If you’re reading this and wondering how I didn’t become a right-winger, don’t worry, I wonder about this sometimes too.
Anyways, all of this to say that I’ve reached a point in my life where I no longer have an infinite amount of time to play games. In fact, I have less time than ever to play them. A full-time job, numerous other responsibilities, as well as new creative endeavors, have forced me to come to terms with this, and that’s part of what this post is. So let’s talk about what it means, how I’m working through it, and what I think about this shift.