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☁️ Miles High Club ☁️ ⛰️ Mountains of Madness ⛰️

Miles Klee
Miles Klee
I knew you couldn’t stay away… from Miles High Club.

Listen. It’s been an eventful bunch of days. Here in California, the effort to recall Gov. Gavin “Hank Hill Ass” Newsom came to an abrupt dead end as voters decided they still prefer a stock 1980s movie villain to Larry Elder, the one right-wing radio personality who has yet to die of coronavirus. (If you’re reading this, Larry, there’s still time!)
Predictably, however, political news was overshadowed by Nicki Minaj’s story about her cousin’s friend’s swollen nutsack — a condition that allegedly cost him his fiancée — and a prolonged public debate over the side effects of COVID-19 vaccines. I left that part to the medical experts (shouts to the health minister of Trinidad and Tobago) and pondered why the dumbest lies always begin with “My cousin… ” It was only after publishing the article that I learned of a related, etymological legacy:
Gustavo Turner
@MilesKlee It goes way back: In Shakespearean English “to cozen” or to engage in “cozenage” was to con someone. One of the etymologies was “cousinage,” related to claiming “I have a cousin who….” or to show up at someone’s house and claiming you were a long forgotten country cousin.
Gustavo Turner
@liberpolly @MilesKlee By the 1680s, as you can see from this broadside, the spellings of “cozen” and “cousin” had merged, as had the meanings:
Goodness. Watch out for cousins both real and fake, I suppose. You never can tell what kind of scheme they’re cooking up.
Mountains of Madness
Lately I’ve been sucked into a community that feels very Flat Earther-adjacent. As in that conspiracy hive, the premise here comes down to a combination of 1) disbelieving basic geology and 2) grasping at an alternative history picked up from Game of Thrones or some shit.
What this particular movement wants to impart is that “mountains” are actually melted brick buildings from ancient times.
Sure, you could just accept that “rock” is a thing — the very thing our planet is made of, I dare say — but where’s the fun in that? Far more satisfying to invoke the Freemasons.
Wait. If the Freemasons trace back to the guilds of medieval stonemasons, and those guys didn’t want people to find out that they were cutting the ruins of ancient buildings instead of natural rock… well that would mean… holy shit, Rebekah is right.
Alas, as the Facebook page grows, there is more dissent and disruption. At least one member is trolling the rest with computer-generated images, there’s a pinned admin post warning against speculation that mountains are “gargantuan lizards” or “alien carved underworlds,” and the group is continually at odds with another group which claims that mountains are, in fact, the petrified wood left by old, enormous trees.
Boy, I hope they get to the bottom of this one soon. Really sick of not knowing what mountains are!
Just discovered a guy on Instagram who believes mountains are melted buildings
The Ur-Cure
After ivermectin took off as the drug of choice for people who refuse to take the vaccine (they’re calling themselves “purebloods” now, by the way), I was hoping Brazilian snake venom would be the next craze.
Instead, I learned of a folk remedy beyond my wildest dreams.
The Times
Americans are flocking to defunct uranium mines in Montana for what many believe is a fountain of youth gushing with radioactive gas – in direct defiance of health warnings from experts
Is there a better endpoint for the American obsession with crackpot remedies than bathing in radon-infused water? Gwyneth Paltrow herself couldn’t top this. Even though the people visiting the uranium mines for various ailments are likely giving themselves cancer, you can’t argue with the results: death cures all, doesn’t it.
If homo sapiens survive another few millennia, let’s hope our ancestors evolve a habit of heeding warnings.
Meme Dreams
As you’re no doubt aware, I’m always on the lookout for the freshest, funniest trends in memes. I particularly love when a meme makes me laugh because it defies the structure of a joke and accesses some other plane of mysterious hilarity. Being confused is a blessing.
So I’m deeply immersed, at the recommendation of talented writer and friend ML Kejera, in a subreddit where users post memes that have come to them in dreams. The content is off the charts.
Phenomenal stuff. I have to admit: regular, consciously constructed memes no longer do it for me. I need to be plugged into the nerve center of human creativity. We are exploring the innermost frontiers of the self.
Plus, we’re getting new Frank Sinatra songs in the bargain.
ML Kejera
there's this subreddit that just posts memes from dreams and they're inadvertently being the truest surrealist artists out there (recreating objects directly from dreams) as laid out by Breton's manifesto
Seems like I’ve wasted enough of your precious Friday, so I’ll take my leave, and you can get back to slacking off from work. Hit me with any questions, comments or requests, and feel free to scroll to the link at the bottom to tip me $3 a month for this, uh, essential digest.
My weekend plans? Oh, I’m busy. Gotta stay home and visualize the mountain this building will turn into when it melts.
Fr. Alɛk S.
A 320-domed church is being planned for St. Petersburg's Okhtinsky Cape.
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Miles Klee
Miles Klee @milesklee

Internet nonsense and chill vibes.

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