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☁️ Miles High Club ☁️💰 9/11 Grindset 💰

Miles Klee
Miles Klee
I believe we’ve already met. Welcome to Miles High Club.

Greetings, gang, and I hope you had a lovely Labor Day. Unless you work in retail or food service, in which case I know you did not. Sorry about that, and let’s try to get the kinks in this holiday ironed out. L'shanah tovah as well to those who celebrated Rosh Hashanah. And apologies to all that I’m still wearing white this late in the season — it makes me look less pale.
Over at my day job, I got to report on the zany history of male utopias, and in the end of the piece, I talk to this guy who founded a commune that includes ritual erotic massage, so don’t miss that. For somewhat lighter reading, you can check out my explainer of the “Yes Chad” meme. If you don’t know what the hell that is, allow me to offer this example:
Ah yes, cat, the most powerful genus. Let us pray they show us mercy when they overthrow our way of life.
In the meantime, other stuff:
9/11 Grindset
Tomorrow marks the 20th anniversary of 9/11, among the darkest days in American history. Therefore, you can expect to see a lot of insensitive and tasteless discussion of what happened, though I doubt anyone is going to top Jon Oringer, the founder of Shutterstock, who already explained how the deadly terror attacks made him a better businessman. (The thread, since deleted, was partially preserved by Twitter user @isosteph.)
Holy moly. Of the people who witnessed the attacks firsthand, or lost somebody, I doubt anyone has ever attempted to turn the experience into a LinkedIn manifesto… but I guess that’s what Oringer means by “risk.”
Don’t worry, though, he apologized — and went right back to making that paper. Econ 101: Money never sleeps.
The Matrix Rehashing
Yesterday, we were blessed with a trailer for The Matrix Resurrections, a fourth installment of the franchise that began blowing minds in 1999. I saw the original at age 14, on my first date ever, and got to hold hands. Needless to say, 22 years later, I have high hopes for a reboot-sequel.
Now, here’s why I suspect I’m living in the Matrix. Not long before the first official preview dropped, I tweeted a dumb joke about Keanu Reeves’ character, Neo, refusing to go to therapy. Then the clip drops, and what’s the first scene? Neo in therapy. With Neil Patrick Harris. Whoa.
Miles Klee
Neo will literally destroy another iteration of the Matrix instead of going to therapy
Miles Klee
ok i did not expect the Matrix 4 trailer to literally start with Neo in therapy with Neil Patrick Harris what the fuck https://t.co/wpDOxFfxDX
Neo uncovering his own past with psychoanalysis isn’t what I expected, but now I’m fully invested. In fact, I’d love if 20% of the film’s runtime is given over to grueling sessions of Freudian breakdown on the couch — kind of like The Sopranos, only with a monogamous guy who realizes that gabagool is merely a simulation of fats and nitrates.
Think I’m crazy? No way. They set up the crossover decades ago.
Bean Streets
Beans. They can be delicious. They are guaranteed, moreover, to get a big response on the internet, whether you’re a dad teaching his daughter an overwrought lesson about can openers or a simple moviegoer outed for your unconventional choice of contraband cinema snack.
I’m always on the lookout for new bean memes, so I was thrilled to realize I’ve finally burrowed deep enough into Weird Facebook to access its premiere bean content: “a group where everyone angry reacts beans.”
The premise, understood by most of the 1.7K members, is simple: post an image of beans, and whoever sees it has to click the “angry face” emoji in response. Don’t worry, it comes naturally. Assuming you dislike bean pizza.
I respect the vibes, even if this is more of a “get upset when you see beans where they shouldn’t be” community. All in all, I think I’m actually pro-bean.
We should be united against our true enemy: bananas.
Feeling slightly nauseated, so I’m off. Hit me back with any twisted thought that pops into your head — I’d be glad to read it. You can scroll to the bottom for the link to the premium subscription plan, just $3 per month.
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Miles Klee
Miles Klee @milesklee

Internet nonsense and chill vibes.

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