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The Matt Ruby Newsletter - Issue #8

Happy holidaze! Some fun stuff below...
The Matt Ruby Newsletter - Issue #8
By Matt Ruby • Issue #8 • View online
Happy holidaze! Some fun stuff below…

New clip! Couples on social media: Tell us when you break up! [Matt Ruby standup]
New clip! Couples on social media: Tell us when you break up! [Matt Ruby standup]
Uber
I’m tired of Uber pretending time is negotiable. It constantly says my car is 3 minutes away and then 5 minutes goes by and I check my phone and then it says the car is 2 minutes away and it’s like WTF? Look Uber, stop making me think there’s a warp in the space-time continuum where a minute now lasts -90 seconds just because Naveed in a Hyundai Sonata doesn’t realize 2nd Ave is a one-way street. You’re just making me feel drunker than I already am.
Bows
Alienation under neoliberal capitalism is leaving us all disconnected and addicted to social media, our phones, and opioids, but I’m pretty sure this Lexus with a bow on it will make the pain go away, so Merry Consumerism everybody!
Vape
Vape industry: “We don’t market to children, we merely provide a way for adult smokers to break their addiction.”
Me: “Okay, that sounds reasonable. So what flavors do you have?”
Vape industry: “Well this is Blueberry Bubble Gum Unicorn Hello Kitty. And then we have Fruity Pebbles Donut Birthday Cake With Cotton Candy Sprinkles. Y’know, stuff that grownups like!”
Xmas break is a great time to see comedy. Here's where I'll be...
Xmas break is a great time to see comedy. Here's where I'll be...
Christmas vs. Hannukah. From my album HOT FLASHES.
Christmas vs. Hannukah. From my album HOT FLASHES.
Subway
Guy gets on subway and starts addressing the car: “Me and my girlfriend are homeless right now…”
My first reaction: “Look, we get it. You have a girlfriend. Stop bragging.”
Cut
Uncircumcised men are the original “Director’s Cut.”
Who?
Transgender “Who’s on First?”: “Who’s on first?” “Actually, they/them are on first.”
Friends
Honestly, “Friends” pretty much sucks & has nothing to do with real life…except that one ep where they go see Hootie and the rich friends are all about it but the broke friends can’t afford to go which is the most accurate depiction of NYC friendships ever put on screen.
Matt Ruby on Instagram: “Holiday cheer.”
BreakThru Radio Weekly: Ep 88 // Revisiting 2018 w/ Rabbi Avram Mlotek / ‘Mary Queen of Scots’ // BTRlisten
Smug AF.
Smug AF.
Ratings Trump All
Donald Trump is making a bet that America is so into watching The Donald Trump Show on TV that we will never cancel it. His assumption is that ratings are god and the law is a footnote. And in the end, he believes we will vote at the polls for the thing we keep voting for with our eyes. Our attention is endorsement to him. It is the lessons of Network, Amusing Ourselves to Death, and Brave New World internalized on a deep, foundational level. And it is the most American thing that could have happened to us. He is the reveal. The mask drop. This is what the “wizard” behind the curtain of a culture obsessed with ratings, polls, Likes, consumerism, and facades looks like…ugly, shriveled, decrepit, and begging for approval in order to fill a hole that can’t actually be filled by someone else. We lump it all on him. But in so many ways, he is us. This is what a lifetime of seeking validation from external approval looks like and this is where it leads.
Live at Comedy Bar in Chicago.
Live at Comedy Bar in Chicago.
New? I’m comedian Matt Ruby. Listen to my album. And check out my site. I’m also on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. And if ya dig this newsletter, please share. Thanks!
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