I’m tired of Uber pretending time is negotiable. It constantly says my car is 3 minutes away and then 5 minutes goes by and I check my phone and then it says the car is 2 minutes away and it’s like WTF? Look Uber, stop making me think there’s a warp in the space-time continuum where a minute now lasts -90 seconds just because Naveed in a Hyundai Sonata doesn’t realize 2nd Ave is a one-way street. You’re just making me feel drunker than I already am.
Alienation under neoliberal capitalism is leaving us all disconnected and addicted to social media, our phones, and opioids, but I’m pretty sure this Lexus with a bow on it will make the pain go away, so Merry Consumerism everybody!
Vape industry: “We don’t market to children, we merely provide a way for adult smokers to break their addiction.”
Me: “Okay, that sounds reasonable. So what flavors do you have?”
Vape industry: “Well this is Blueberry Bubble Gum Unicorn Hello Kitty. And then we have Fruity Pebbles Donut Birthday Cake With Cotton Candy Sprinkles. Y’know, stuff that grownups like!”