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The Matt Ruby Newsletter - Issue #3

So this will be fun. Anthony P. DeVito and I will be co-headlining a show at the Comedy Cellar on Tue
The Matt Ruby Newsletter - Issue #3
By Matt Ruby • Issue #3 • View online
So this will be fun. Anthony P. DeVito and I will be co-headlining a show at the Comedy Cellar on Tuesday (8/21). I don’t get to do longer sets in the city that much so come on out if you wanna hear me stretch out like a yogi. Actually, I’ll be talking about a lot of wellness stuff since I’m a bit obsessed lately. I read that Michael Pollan book on psychedelics and it’s great and now I can’t stop thinking about how anxiety, depression, addiction, and fear of death are actually a manifestation of ego. I know, it’s hilarious already! Anyway, Andy Haynes will also be doing a set on it and Rosebud Baker is hosting. All these people are hilarious. Kinda crazy the level of talent here in NYC sometimes. Easy to take for granted. You can make reservations for the show at the Comedy Cellar site (reserve seats). It’ll sell out fyi. And I’m at HOT SOUP Comedy Show every Tuesday night. It’s been packed and kinda toasty in there the past few weeks with some amazing lineups and it’s a special vibe when it gets cooking. Also, we got an announcement about the show coming soon that we’re all very excited about.

The problem with the left
The left: “Look, I made this clever poster!”
The right: "I gerrymandered a congressional district so black people’s votes are worthless.”
The left: “My sign says, ‘The future is NASTY.’“
The right: “I’ve been executing a decades long plan to make the industrial Midwest hostile to organized labor.”
The left: "I used glitter!”
The right: “Also, I’m spending millions to target voters in 10 states with direct mail, digital ads, texts, and emails in order to ensure the Supreme Court moves further right and overturns abortion rights.”
The left: “Did you see the hat I knit?”
“Microdosing helps you be more creative at work.” Ha! I don’t want to microdose mushrooms. I want to do the whole bag.
If taking psychedelics makes you better at work, you’re doing them wrong. I’ve never been tripping balls and thought, “Let’s stare at some spreadsheets!”
You should take psychedelics to make you question the entire nature of work. They shouldn’t help you make more money/get ahead, they should make you see that neoliberal capitalism is a sham and that we should actually connect more to nature and the mystical.
Just like Google and the military teaching employees/soldiers meditation so they accept something their brains don’t want them to accept (workaholism/war), this is another example of the man trying to co-opt the sacred in service of the profane.
Stop trying to dial in the right amount. Go too far. Sometimes, too far is the right amount.
I want to defend being self-deprecating – but there’s probably someone smarter than me who can do it better.
But for real, self-deprecation is great. Because think about it’s opposite: being self-aggrandizing. Blech. I’m tired of people bragging. We get that everywhere. It’s every corporate press release. It’s every profile on LinkedIn. It’s every politician and talking head on TV. It’s every bumper sticker about a kid making honor roll. It’s every Facebook post. Everyone’s an expert and strong and brave and doing the right thing and deserves to be heard and overcoming hardship and giving an important TED Talk and blah blah blah. It’s fatiguing. Were numb to it.
And that’s why self-deprecation works. Because of supply and demand. It’s why we want Beck singing “I’m a loser” and Radiohead doing “I’m a creep” instead of songs about “I’m a winner” and “I’m a normal, well adjusted, healthy adult male.” When everyone is out there talking about how strong/brave they are, hearing someone admit the opposite becomes that much more intriguing.
I hear the argument against it filtered through the power/privilege prism. But here’s the thing: When self-deprecation is done right, it is an act of kindness. It’s sacrificing your own reputation in order to connect with others. It’s showing your flaws/hurt/pain/fear/shame in a way that makes others feel better about their own and not so alone. It’s taking CO2 and turning it into oxygen. It’s a display of self-awareness and humility.
We’re all human. We’re all messed up. Let’s not take it so seriously. Comedy! Yes, I’m arguing that comedy not take itself so seriously.
Because these days, almost every arena in life is encouraging us to be pompous, serious, and self-important. That comedy encourages the opposite is great. It’s the antidote to resumés and press releases and “look how great I am”-ness. If all that stuff becomes the default mode of comedy, where are all us losers supposed to go to bitch about how messed up we are?
Cats vs. dogs
Cats vs dogs???
People always have the same reaction to that:
Cat people don’t really care. “Whatever.”
Dog people get outraged. “It’s not even close. Dogs!” They get all worked up about how much better dogs are and give you a whole list of reasons.
Whenever I hear that, I think: You know who you’re acting like with all this drama? A cat.
The way you prefer dogs over cats is extremely feline. You’re being finicky about something that doesn’t really matter.
If you were really a dog person, you would act like a dog and not care. You’d just stand there with your tongue hanging out and then scratch your balls and wait for someone to walk you because CATS RULE.
I like seeing Ambien get dragged publicly. The weird thing about pill poppers is they don’t think they’re drug users because “it’s a prescription.” I once dated a gal who was on Ambien and had to be at work early every morning. That meant she had to be asleep by 11pm at the latest or else she’d not get enough AmbienSleep™ and then go crazy or whatever Roseanne shit happens when you don’t sleep enough on that drug. I remember a dinner date running late and we got into bed at 10:53pm and she said we could have sex but it had to be over in 7 minutes. It was like a terrible episode of “24” except it wasn’t a bomb we were trying to detonate. After that, we broke up so I could date a girl who takes normal drugs.
Bitcoin Bros
The latest episode from Vooza will get you all cryptocrazy.
Every dude in Brooklyn looks like a lumberjack who follows the rules.
I’ve never been married, but I have the energy of a guy who’s doing really well with his divorce.
My guided meditation app tells me to visualize a beam of light emanating from my chest that bathes every room I enter in kindness. Nothing has ever stressed me out more in my life.
Finishing this Vietnam documentary is my Vietnam.
I feel like we all owe Rosie O’Donnell a big apology.
I’d like to go on the record with my hatred for the term “nothingburger.” We already have a word for this: “nothing.” You can just say nothing. If you need to make up a word for something that already exists, you’re a real idiotburger.
“Speed it up!” -what every comic is thinking when a normal person is telling a story
my parents met because they were set up on a blind date by my grandma. she told my dad, “you should meet my daughter. she’s learning how to type and she’s seeing a therapist.”
It’s a bad time to be white trash because you’re constantly being forced to acknowledge your privilege while simultaneously being trash.
If there are no stickers on your laptop, how I am supposed to know you are a rebel???

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