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The Australian Baggy Green Party of Australia - Meet the Candidates

The Australian Baggy Green Party of Australia - Meet the Candidates
By Dan Liebke • Issue #32 • View online
In the upcoming federal election, it is the ABGPA’s goal to have a first class cricketer stand in every electorate in Australia, as we look to put a sprig of wattle in the hand of all Australians.
Hear from the candidates on the big issues!

Meghann LANNING, ABGPA candidate for CHISHOLM, on Border Control
“The former captain will be brought under control. By any means necessary.”
“The former captain will be brought under control. By any means necessary.”
Matthew WADE, ABGPA candidate for BRADDON, on The Economy
“Why tax the people when we can instead orchestrate an elaborate casino heist?”
“Why tax the people when we can instead orchestrate an elaborate casino heist?”
Beth MOONEY, ABGPA candidate for PETRIE, on Foreign Affairs
“What, like with some spicy Brazilian number? I won’t lie. That’s kinda hot.”
“What, like with some spicy Brazilian number? I won’t lie. That’s kinda hot.”
Ashleigh GARDNER, ABGPA candidate for WARRINGAH, on Media Regulation
“Enough with all the television shows, America! I still haven’t finished Game of Thrones.”
“Enough with all the television shows, America! I still haven’t finished Game of Thrones.”
Marnus LABUSCHAGNE, ABGPA candidate for DAWSON, on Unemployment
“Look. You can never have too many net bowlers…”
“Look. You can never have too many net bowlers…”
Cameron GREEN, ABGPA candidate for CURTIN, on Climate Change
“I’ll keep an eye out for it.”
“I’ll keep an eye out for it.”
Marcus STOINIS, ABGPA candidate for SCARBOROUGH, on Industrial Relations
“If it’s between consenting adults, I don’t have a problem with it.”
“If it’s between consenting adults, I don’t have a problem with it.”
Pat CUMMINS, ABGPA candidate for LINDSAY, on Reinstating The Death Penalty
“A year's suspension was plenty.”
“A year's suspension was plenty.”
Sophie MOLINEUX, ABGPA candidate for KOOYONG, on Education Reform
“There are too many schools! If it was good enough for Sir Isaac Newton to work everything out himself, it’s good enough for your snot-faced brats.”
“There are too many schools! If it was good enough for Sir Isaac Newton to work everything out himself, it’s good enough for your snot-faced brats.”
Travis HEAD, ABGPA candidate for MAKIN, on Healthcare
“Yeah, nah, mate. Time to fuck that Covid shit off, I reckon.”
“Yeah, nah, mate. Time to fuck that Covid shit off, I reckon.”
Vote 1 - The Australian Baggy Green Party of Australia
“Like the Greens, but Baggier.”
Did you enjoy this issue?
Dan Liebke

Every Friday, I go through my big list of cricket ideas, and churn out a first draft of something I've got in there. It won't be polished. It may not be interesting. I make no promises. But I'm going to throw something up and see what works and what (infinitely more likely) does not.

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