Friday First Drafts

By Dan Liebke

Every Friday, I go through my big list of cricket ideas, and churn out a first draft of something I've got in there. It won't be polished. It may not be interesting. I make no promises. But I'm going to throw something up and see what works and what (infinitely more likely) does not.

Every Friday, I go through my big list of cricket ideas, and churn out a first draft of something I've got in there. It won't be polished. It may not be interesting. I make no promises. But I'm going to throw something up and see what works and what (infinitely more likely) does not.

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51

issues

#51・

The 2013 Ridiculous Ashes

The 2013 Ridiculous Ashes is now available for your podcasting perusal. First Test is up, featuring two of the greatest nonsense moments in Ashes history - Ashton Agar's 98 and Stuart Broad not walking. Special guest Pat actual Cummins drops by to help us out…

#50・

Cryptic Crossword - Openers

A while back, I published the Pat Cummins Guide To Handsomely Doing Cryptic Crosswords. I hope you were paying attention because here's a link to a cryptic crossword all about openers.Have fun! Let me know how you go.

 
#49・

Wasted Review of Cricket in 2022

I cover:Men’s AshesWomen’s AshesThe Death of Shane Warne (including both a tribute to Shane Warne, the cricketer and, for balance, a timeline of my frustrations with Shane Warne, the commentator)Women’s ODI World CupBenaud-Qadir TrophyEngland v New Zealand Te…

 
#48・

The Half-Volley Problem

There is a ball hurtling down the pitch, destined to be a half-volley. Ahead, at the crease, there is a handy lower middle order batter. The half-volley is headed straight into the slot. There is also a set batter backing up too far at the non-striker’s end. …

 
#47・

This Year’s Winners at CricketTech - The Leading Cricket Technology Conference

Grand Prize WinnersOutstanding Innovation in Player Technology - UmpireTrust(tm) Classic Glove and Bat ComboRemember the days before Snicko and Hot Spot (and their generic brand equivalents)? The glory days of cricket when a batter could feather one behind an…

 
#46・

Howlers, Bulls and Bears - a proposal for a DRS Economy

One of the very best things about twenty-first century cricket is DRS (the Umpire’s Decision Review System). After some blunderfart beginnings and world-class intransigence from the India side (B.K.), international cricket has stumbled into just about the per…

 
#45・

Net Back - A Fab Four Documentary

As always you can get my behind-the-scenes thoughts on the writing of this piece over on my Patreon (patreon.com/liebcricket), along with approximately one squillion other benefits. All for just $2/month

 
#44・

Daily Horoscope for Cricketers

AriesEither your left-arm opening fast bowler or a team physiotherapist is likely to be irritable today, Aries, which might tempt you into trying to unravel their problems. But what if their problems are profound philosophical ones that have defied history’s …

 
#43・

The Last Question

One last question before we go, mate.Sure.Which cricketer would you pick to bat for your life?To what?To bat for your life.… in what sense?Uh, y’know, in the sense that, if your life depended on it, who would you want at the crease.If my life depended on it?S…

 
#42・

Great Cricketing Brains

TeamsTeam selection has been riddled with controversy, with selectors of both sides mustering some surprising omissions and shock inclusions. The main point of contention was the eligibility of Werner Heisenberg for the Mathematicians team. There was a great …

 
#41・

The Selection Meeting

“Now, what about the keeper?”“I’m inclined to keep her.”“I think there have been too many drops.”“Agreed. We’ve dropped too many. We need to keep her.”“No, she’s dropped too many. We need to drop her.”“It’s tough to drop a keeper.”“Tougher still to keep a dro…

#40・

Can YOU Solve These Riddles and Lateral Thinking Puzzles from the Australian Cricket Team?

Question 1Glenn Maxwell walks one mile due south, then one mile due east, then one mile due north and arrives back at his starting point. He takes a catch from a bear. What colour was it?Answer: Red. (Cameron White’s nickname is ‘Bear’. He played for the Melb…

 
#39・

June 2022 Alinta Energy Awards for Cricketing Comedy Excellence

As always you can get my behind-the-scenes thoughts on the writing of this piece over on my Patreon (patreon.com/liebcricket), along with approximately one squillion other benefits. All for just $2/month

 
#38・

International Cricket’s Head of Production Kevin Feige Announces Schedule For ICCU Phase 5

In the past few years, we’ve had unparalleled success, with many of the highest-grossing Test cricket series in history. Series that resonated with you guys, the fans of the ICCU, in ways that we could only dream of.Who can forget such smash hits as Pant-Man …

 
#37・

I Would Like To Clarify Once More That The Assertion That The Umpires Were ‘Hopelessly Compromised Cheats’ Was Not My Opinion But Rather That Of My Ventriloquist’s Dummy, Corporal Barmington

First, I ultimately accepted all the umpires’ decisions - good and terrible - and told them so after the match. Sure, they made mistakes, some of them egregious ones that undoubtedly cost us the match. But we all make mistakes. And, as captain of the side, I …

 
#36・

The Pat Cummins Guide To Handsomely Doing Cryptic Crosswords

The BasicsVirtually all cryptic clues can be divided into two basic parts: A normal definition, similar to what you’d see in a boring crosswordSome sort of wordplay that also gives the same answerThe trick is that there’s no way of knowing which part of the c…

 
#35・

England v New Zealand Mini-Report Card, Day One

The Shane Warne Commentary BoxBefore play began, there was a ceremony renaming the Lord’s commentary box in honour of Shane Warne, and the unveiling of a mural. Not the classic mural, of course, which I think is now an NFT that hackers have stolen and reimagi…

 
#34・

PLUMB! magazine (tabloid version)

A few years ago I toyed with the idea of a comedy cricket magazine called PLUMB! It was a lot of work and a lot of fun, but also a lot of work and, as I may have mentioned, a LOT of work. In retrospect, I should have just done a shamelessly sensationalist tab…

 
#33・

Breaking The Laws - Clumsy Leg Before Wicket

Clumsy Leg Before WicketProblem with Current LawThe current leg before wicket Laws have no aesthetic component to them. It is simply an umpire’s opinion (augmented by ball-tracking technology where appropriate) on whether the ball will go on to hit the stumps…

 
#32・

The Australian Baggy Green Party of Australia - Meet the Candidates

Meghann LANNING, ABGPA candidate for CHISHOLM, on Border Control