A big part of self-care is questioning ideas that seem common in society. You know things like: “hustle and grind culture”; “Monday’s have to be the worst’; #teamnosleep; being overbooked, and others are so pervasive that they seem like the normal thing to do.
Most of the ideas are not some golden standard and they don’t actually help us live the life we really want. Once I took a step back, I realized that I could change the narrative whenever I wanted.
I can rethink how structures and norms serve me, especially as a Black woman (because how race and gender intersect with self-care and wellness is one to deeply examine), and then decide what to do next. Asking questions like this can help:
- Does it have to be done like this OR is it that I haven’t looked for a new approach?
- How do I want to feel each day?
- Am I having fun with my self-care and life in general?
- Am I overbooking myself? How can I be more mindful and intentional with my calendar?
- What shifts can I make right now in my everyday routines that support my self-care?
Answering these questions can be uncomfortable. It will take time to find your new stride. It will take time for others to respect your transformation. And it might feel really hard if you are not in a community with other people who share the same ideals. Keep going anyway. Your health and wellness depend on it. In order to do your most impactful work (heavy emphasis on the MOST) you have to take exquisite care of yourself. So many of us are running on fumes and doing great work. Imagine what might happen if you are running on full? Just imagine.
I already shared this with some of you who follow my other work, so bear the repeat. In the vein of defining my self-care, I will be taking the next two months off fully. I am welcoming another child into the world (Baby Miles) and decided that I am not going to take maternity leave in secret, trying to pretend everything is business as usual. So that means, I am not: scheduling newsletters; frantically writing 2 months’ worth of social media posts, managing Facebook group, or facilitating SPACE workshops. I am not even going to respond to email. This idea that you cannot ever stop, even when you are having a child, well it’s just an idea. And it’s an idea I am pushing back on. More to come once I am on the other side of this sabbatical.
I will see you in May, bursting with new ideas and ready to share more insights about self-care and wellness that can help you on your journey. Keep up your self-care practices and remember Self Care All The Time.