I’m writing this on Friday afternoon. Usually, I write these on Sunday afternoons.
I’m feeling rushed. I’m trying to slow roll into the weekend. My hope is to disconnect this weekend. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that.
The desire to do-do-do-do and DO has been escalating over the past few months. I spoke to my therapist about this last night.
This drive is always with me. It feels like something I need to be aware of at all times. My tendency is to overwhelm myself. The drive will overwhelm me if it’s not kept in check.
The drive is now fueled by enjoying the work I do. I feel grateful for this. There’s always an idea to test. Possibilities seem to be around every corner.
It’s easy to keep running around the corners as a result. There’s always something to push along. If I can just do XYZ, it will be on its way, then I can rest.
Then XYZ turns into XYZ+1, then XYZ+1+1…and…
The cycle can turn into a sprint with no finish line. It’s a race I’ve tried running before. It’s not a healthy race for me.
So I set an intention this morning to ease back on the throttle. This feels hard. It feels like trying to pull a speeding train to a stop.
The alternative is to feel like my mind’s being crushed. I feel tension in my eyes and temples. My breath shortens. I feel trapped and locked.
That’s not how I want to spend this weekend. It’s how I’ve spent most weekends over the past year, vacations too.
My hope is that by writing this today, I won’t be pulled back to the computer over the weekend. Maybe this will make disconnecting a little bit easier.
I hope so 🙏
How about you? How do you feel when the week’s coming to a close? Do you stay connected over the weekend?
Let me know by replying directly to this email 👈
Catch you next week. With my gratitude,