Jul 14, 2020

🧠 Proof of Learning 11: Impermanence, advice, and regrets

By Jamie Sutton • Issue #11 • View online

Hello. I’m still alive.

This week I saved a turtle from oncoming traffic and a newly born rabbit from my dog’s mouth.

Here’s what I’ve thought about this past week:

💭 On my mind

⏳ Impermanence rules everything. Everything has an expiration date. There are no exceptions. This is hard to stomach, but it can help you appreciate the things you have in this moment. Don’t let yourself forget that this rule applies to your relationships. They’re not permanent either.
🥺 Attack your insecurities or comfort them? There was a time I bought into attacking insecurities, but I’m no longer a believer. My change in opinion can be explained with a simple heuristic: when you are unsure how to act, imagine a close friend were in your position and write them a short letter of advice. Spoiler: you’re going to comfort your friend every time. Why not treat yourself the same way?
🤔 Who should you take advice from? This comes from The Richest Man in Babylon. After being instructed to set aside 10% of all his earnings and invest it wisely, a student returns to his mentor, proud to announce that he has given his savings away to Azmur, the brickmaker, who has promised to buy rare jewels to later sell for a greater profit. The mentor knows his student has been scammed. ’Every fool must learn,’ he growled, ‘but why trust the knowledge of a brickmaker about jewels? Would you go to the breadmaker to inquire about the stars? No, by my tunic, you would go to the astrologer, if you had power to think. Your savings are gone, youth, you have jerked your wealth-tree up by the roots. But plant another. Try again. And next time if you would have advice about jewels, go to the jewel merchant. If you would know the truth about sheep, go to the herdsman. Advice is one thing that is freely given away, but watch that you take only what is worth having. He who takes advice about his savings from one who is inexperienced in such matters, shall pay with his savings for proving the falsity of their opinions.
😩 On regret. I rarely regret my actions. I trust my ability to make decisions responsibly in accordance with the information I have available to me at the time the decision is made. What I sometimes regret is how long it takes me to rebound from the outcomes of difficult decisions where there are no easy wins to be had. Resilience might be equally as important as decision making, I think.
🐸 Obligations cast scary shadows. We are insanely talented at imagining obligations as big, scary, impossible tasks. The sooner we start doing a difficult thing, the sooner we’ll realize most of the suffering was imagined. It’s all in your head.

📚 Books of the week

I haven’t finished Shadow Divers or Soul Without Shame yet, but I’ve read enough about Soul Without Shame to share some backstory. (Just kidding. I wrote out a couple paragraphs but it didn’t do it justice. Maybe next week!)

👋 See you next Tuesday!

Thanks for reading. Here’s a quote from Soul Without Shame:

Self-judgment is based on the accumulation of all the knowledge you believe you need to be successful, safe, supported, recognized, and loved in the world.

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By Jamie Sutton

Bite-sized ideas for curious minds, every Tuesday.

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