Here on the corner of my computer screen, I have a little piece of a sticky note with the following on it:
Interested > Interesting
Meaning, being interested is better than being interesting. And, if you’re in the people business, or have any personal relationships that are important to you, this is good advice.
It comes from Mark Goulston, Author of Just Listen
: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.
This is a great book and, for me, has been instrumental in me trying to really deepen some personal relationships as well as going farther to develop connection with the people I work with, both as candidates, hiring managers and as just other great humans I want to know better.
The whole book
is interesting. Mark, who trains hostage negotiators, opens the book with a pretty intense confrontation between a man threatening to commit suicide in a mall parking lot. You see two kinds of negotiations take place. The “Hey, you’re in big trouble so put the gun down” kind that we see on TV and a much different approach that diffuses the situation and brings a peaceful resolution — listening
One challenge I admit that I have in listening better is, well, asking questions. It sounds funny, but I sometimes get stuck just knowing what I should be asking someone!
Do you suffer from the same problem? Luckily, I took some notes for you. From my notebook to yours, find some great questions you can ask anyone to show you are interested on my blog: