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The most difficult decision of my week was which Lord of the Rings quote to use as the subject line of this email. How’d I do?

I made a half-hearted attempt to watch more spooky movies this week because it is spooky season, but then I forgot. I have plenty of other spooky movies to watch over the next few weeks, but hit me up in the replies: What are your favorite Halloween movies?

Also: If you like this newsletter, please consider buying me a coffee! However, if donating would cause you any financial hardship, then don’t give it a second thought. Keep reading! Thank you.

Zoolander is a very silly movie carried almost entirely by Ben Stiller’s commitment to his character: A “really, really, really, ridiculously good looking” male model who is brainwashed by a fashion magnate to kill the prime minister of Malaysia.

Stiller’s costars, including Will Ferrell and Owen Wilson, are funny, too — albeit a little too winking-at-the-camera for my taste. As a fan of movies like The Princess Bride, I love a deeply earnest character in ridiculous costumes saying ridiculous things, and Zoolander fits that bill perfectly.

This was also a special movie for me because I saw it at a temporary drive-in movie theater in San Francisco, the first movie I’ve seen outside the house since Onward in early March. All the cars had their windows rolled up so we couldn’t hear the audience laughing, but it still felt good to be out and enjoying something with a few dozen strangers. If you have a drive-in near you, I’d recommend it.

Zoolander is good, too. Recommended. ★★★½

I watched Zoolander at a drive-in movie theater, but it’s currently streaming on Hoopla.

After seeing American Psycho, it now makes perfect sense to me why Christian Bale was cast as Batman.

This upsetting but engrossing satire is perched right at the intersection of mayhem, darkness, and high society, and Bale plays his part to unnerving perfection. This is not a subtle movie — it’s loud and bloody and I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t been pigeonholed as a Patrick Bateman type for the rest of his acting career; he’s just that good at playing a memorably creepy dude.

Following Bateman for the entire film and almost never pulling the focus away is a bold choice because it forces us to think about the exaggerated ways in which his callous materialism, elitism, and toxic masculinity — the acceptable veneer over his murderous rage — are present in our own social circles and ourselves. And suffice it to say I will never listen to Huey Lewis and the News the same way again. Recommended. ★★★★½

I watched American Psycho on Blu-Ray, but it’s currently streaming on Peacock.

Tim Burton’s movie adaptation of a darkly comedic Stephen Sondheim musical, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is well-directed and mostly well-acted. But it doesn’t add up to something I really enjoyed.

A few of the songs are memorable, especially Sacha Baron Cohen’s “The Contest” and one of the big duets between Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter, “A Little Priest.” But most of the others are so forgettable that I was wishing for a talked-through version of this story with the same actors and same creepy production design.

It’s also just lovely to see Alan Rickman in anything, however briefly, and lovelier still to have him happily singing. The actual meat of the story, so to speak, was less appetizing to me. I didn’t really buy Sweeney Todd’s character (something I imagine may be more fleshed out in the stage musical), and his gruesome methods were more shocking than dramatically interesting. I’d be willing to give this musical another chance if I can see it on stage, but as far as the movie goes … eh. ★★★

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street is currently streaming on Amazon Prime Video, CBS, and Hoopla.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring is a perfect adaptation, and I don’t envy the person who has to write something interesting about it.

(Looks in the mirror.) Dammit.

The fact that this movie has aged so well in the past 19 years is remarkable, and not at all what happens to most fantasy/“genre” entertainment. Its success is attributable to — among other things — director Peter Jackson’s mastery of classical adventure filmmaking techniques, a script that doesn’t dumb down J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic lore, and an uber-talented cast that treats his material with the utmost seriousness. Bringing together Ian McKellan, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, and about a dozen more brilliant actors was a miraculous feat of casting, the likes of which I don’t think we’ve seen again in the past two decades.

When I think about this movie, I think of the sweeping shots of New Zealand-as-Middle Earth, like everyone, but it’s no mistake that “LOTR memes” are a thriving internet phenomenon. When adults make fantasy stories for other adults, those stories become Petri dishes for our imaginations, encouraging us to twist and mutate those stories and apply them throughout our lives. The Fellowship of the Ring is so confident in its own merits that no amount of internet mockery can sap its power. Highly recommended. ★★★★★

I watched the extended edition of the Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring on DVD, and unfortunately, it’s not streaming or available to rent anywhere — it’s only available for purchase. The inferior theatrical version is currently streaming on HBO Max.

I wanted to like Bad Moms because I like all three of its stars — Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, and Kathryn Hahn — but despite some funny scenes, the movie never rises above its station.

It’s a simple story about parenting in 2016, and the unfair expectations placed on mothers (both those who work and those who stay at home) to be perfect. All of that is a good start, but the film’s attempts to step out are only sporadically funny; too often, it falls back on lazy set-ups and punchlines, which is why it was no surprise to me that this was written by the same guys who did The Hangover.

This is a movie that desires “woos,” shouted at the screen in the theater at a rowdy screening, and that’s fine. I just wish that with such a good cast, Bad Moms had tried to do more. Skip it. ★★½

I watched Bad Moms on Blu-Ray; it’s not currently streaming anywhere, but it’s available to rent or purchase on these platforms.

Despite being one of Wes Anderson’s slighter movies, Isle of Dogs is still quite charming, with excellent stop-motion animation, his trademark bleak whimsy, and an unnecessarily star-studded cast that includes Bryan Cranston, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, and Greta Gerwig.

The premise is too much of a long walk to fully explain here, but briefly: In the near future, all dogs in Japan have been banished to an offshore trash island, and a young boy sets out to find and rescue his dog/best friend. Cleverly, the film commits to having the boy — and all other Japanese characters — speak almost entirely in Japanese, without subtitles, whereas “all barks have been rendered into English.” For the seemingly intended audience of Americans who don’t speak Japanese and have only a passing understanding of Japanese culture, this communication gap makes us see the adventure through the dogs’ eyes.

The pacing is pleasantly brisk and the jokes are good, even if this movie doesn’t have the same emotional impact as Moonrise Kingdom or The Grand Budapest Hotel. Recommended. ★★★★

I watched Isle of Dogs on Blu-Ray, but it’s currently streaming (in standard-def, with ads) on IMDB TV. Would highly recommend that you find an HD version instead!

(new additions in bold)