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Reading time: 3mins
Quit the bullsh*t
Giving someone feedback, especially negative feedback, is hard, right? You want to mind someones feelings, ensure they get the message, but don’t get upset. You want them to still like you after the conversation and you want them feel good and look forward to whatever it is they need to do to get better feedback next time.
So, you might deliver the age-old crap sandwich:
“That work did on the doodah was excellent.”
“The work did on the wotsit was terrible though.”
“But the work you did on the widget was great!”
It feels good to give people good feedback, it feels like it might temper the bad feedback and make the person feel less upset, still like you etc.
Except, it’s not very kind.
It’s not about you
The thing is, you think that you give them a crap sandwich, or whatever method of being kind you use is for them. But it’s not.
It’s for you. It’s so you don’t have to feel bad. It’s so you don’t have to be the bearer of bad tidings.
It’s to make you feel better.
Remember though, the feedback is for them, it’s to help them improve, to change a behaviour or to be mindful of a relationship. It’s about helping them to be better and, if you can’t be clear, transparent and open about the feedback in order to help a colleague, then you should get someone else to deliver the feedback instead.
But, it is also about you (just not in that way)
It’s about you in that:
- You have to show up for a hard conversation.
- You set an example, as a leader, that is easy to follow.
- You can have an open heart, open mind conversation.
Those things will help you grow. Clarity is kindness, it’s a win-win conversation.
📪 End #post
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