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000. Inception

Philip Obosi
Philip Obosi
Dear creator,
I hope I can find the words to accurately communicate my thoughts to you. If there’s one thing that absolutely fascinates me in this world of ours, it is our ability to conceive an idea and will it into existence through sheer determination, a lot of hard work, and a douse of luck. Like you, I am a creator at heart. I love to make things from nothing or in some cases, weave together a bunch of nothings into a truly valuable thing.
As a child, I would scour every room in our 3 bedroom apartment for anything I could collect. It was almost like I was practicing for a career in “Iron condemn”. I hope you get the joke. I was a very isolated kid who would experiment with a bunch of batteries and cardboard to create my own DIY fan and reading lantern. Eventually, my thoughts became less innocent in reaction to all the pain I was bottling up inside, and even in those moments, my only outlet remained my creative work. I soon started to paint or at least try to. I don’t think I was ever great at it, but it was my creative work all the same. I would never forget the painting I made with my blood. No need to overthink it, I was being resourceful 🙈. 
Soon I started writing. My older sister was freaking amazing. She still is and I love her so much(I don’t show it as often as she’d like 😅). I remember the day I felt the power of writing through something she had written. It was a piece that so honestly captured her thoughts and emotions at that moment from a perspective that none of us had the privilege of conceiving. I was thrilled by how she could do that and through reading that piece, I understood her. She had shared her perspective with me despite my inability to live her life. 
Not to mention how much of a dancer I was. Yes, this Philip. I danced quite a lot and thankfully my innocence at the time was enough to eliminate the lines we’ve drawn between “masculine” and “feminine” dance moves. I would shake my ass to every Shakira song I could find and hundreds of times I let Brick and lace remind me that love is wicked(that’s still a song I’d dance to anytime any day). Fun story, when I was in primary five, I beat the girls in my class at what they termed “a whining competition”. But that’s not all, I was Chris Brown with the moves too. I would breakdance to any song that was breakdance-able. Let’s not even get started on how I practiced every move from P-Square’s “Roll it”(Looks like the brothers are back together for the umpteenth time). These days I’m more of a “magic mike” type dancer, but only in my head. We’d see what the future holds for me in that regard.
I thought I was gonna be a famous singer at some point. And yeah I’m relatively good at it….. I think. Music makes so much sense to me on a level that I think is possibly not commonplace. When I listen to music or sing, I tend to become the song. For a moment, there’s no longer Philip in this world. Just a couple of heartwarming notes and sound waves soaring through the air. I don’t think I have found the words to accurately express what I feel about music, so that’s all I’d say for now. Honestly, I kinda like that I can’t explain it.
If there’s anything going through all these creative phases has given me, it is the privilege of experiencing the irreplaceable joy, sense of fulfillment, and purpose that comes from being a creator. Channeling all your energy into creating a piece of art in the way that you conceived it is no easy task. In the end, though, it always turned out to be a journey I don’t regret. 
There’s a really challenging and often undiscussed side to this. Birthing ideas and transforming them into reality is a roller coaster ride in many ways. You fail at the seemingly most obvious things, you obsess about the most insignificant details, you experience the highest highs and lowest lows in a split second and pretty soon, that becomes pretty normal for you. I have lost friends, family and people I love the most in the world in many cases because of my obsession with an idea. There’s something to navigating this reality while being multitalented that adds to this dilemma in no small measure. Soon, you start to wonder if you might be insane. The loneliness and depression I have battled through my journey as a creator is not something I can effectively communicate in one letter. Nevertheless, I’m not giving up. And this is me rising up yet again.
Today I’m a software engineer/product manager who has decided to dedicate my life to solving problems that affect the one set of people I can relate to in many ways; creators. You! I’m writing you because I realize that I can’t possibly be the only one experiencing these things. It’s sad that we all are, but we keep it on lock and never forget to wear our “put-together” persona when we interact. Well, I’m done with that in many ways.
I am not put together. I’m tremendously flawed, I experience ridiculous highs and lows, and I know what it’s like to navigate the ups and downs of life as a creator. I definitely do not know it all and that’s why I’m reaching out to you. I am sending out this letter with arms wide open, in hopes that I find you. In hopes that I reach others like me who know what it is like to be clueless about everything but still want to make the best of your abilities and opportunities. I hope that my arms find you and that you hold on tightly. You can hold on for as long as you want to, and there’s no need to let go. 
I’ll write you again next week Monday. In the meantime, have an amazing week and I hope you slay the week as Beyonce slew in that Coachella outfit. 
I love you🤍🖤. 
Don’t stop creating!
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Philip Obosi
Philip Obosi @gutsyphilip

I come alive when I make things. It's magical, believe me! So I'm writing this newsletter to share some of that life with you.

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