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Weekly Wisdom: What even is a slut?

Weekly Wisdom with Gigi Engle
Weekly Wisdom: What even is a slut?
By Weekly Wisdom with Gigi Engle • Issue #230 • View online
Good morning, unicorn baby! How are you today?

I did an IG takeover on Friday for Hypebae. I was sent a whole series of questions from followers to answer. I was not shocked by the question, per say, but I was a bit saddened in some ways.

A couple of the questions I received:
What should i know about the “first time?”
How do I know when I’ve hit orgasm?
Is it true that most people experience more orgasms through clitoral stimulation vs vaginally? 
What do I do if someone won’t date me because I’ve had too many partners?

I think the work I do is really important, but I feel pretty f*cking useless when I see questions about sexual purity, virginity, and general slutiness.

Because what even is a slut or being promiscuous or being chaste or being pure? What even IS having sex for the first time, anyway? ICYMI: People (women and those raised female, let’s be real) are still TERRIFIED of seeming slutty.

Let’s talk a bit about the concept of virginity because it pisses me off.

Having “sex for the first time” is like doing anything else for the first time, tbh. We just don’t have a ton of language around sex which means most of us go into it blind. We don’t know what to expect because no one explains anything to us.

Raise your hand if you can relate!

The first time you have sex can feel a bit scary because of the focus we put on purity and virginity - both of which are made up terms. All of the terms we use around sex as a means of control (slut, whore, virgin, purity, chaste etc.) are tools of of the Patriarchy employed to control sexuality.

I prefer to call it “your sexual debut.” It’s so much more adorable and less shame-y. Your first time can be with someone you love, a friend, or even just someone you’re interested in having sex with.

What is important is that you feel safe and comfortable and are having your needs met.

There’s not need to freak out about it. Everyone feels nervous when they’re going to have sex (intercourse or otherwise) for the first time.

What are you gonna do to prepare when no one prepares you?

Definitely masturbate and become comfortable with touching yourself before you engage with another person. Your partner is not a mind reader and therefore it’s up to you to let them know what feels good for you. Relying on someone to magically satisfy your sexual needs is not realistic.

Remember that having sex and what it means to you can be as big of a deal or as not a big of a deal as you want it to be. Use condoms and another form of birth control. Ask your partner to disclose can possible STIs and the last time they were tested.

Most importantly, enjoy yourself. Sex should be fun, not some scary over the top thing.

This week’s mantras:
  1. I am sexually well because I am a sexual being.
  2. My worth is not defined by my sexual past.
  3. I will love myself.

I love you. Have a great week.
XOXO Gigi

Masturbate, probably.
Masturbate, probably.
~Good ReadSSsssSSss~
It's OK If You Don't Want Sex In Your Relationship Right Now
The ‘Couch Grind’ Is The Non-Penetrative Sex Position You Need To Try
Anal Sex and Pregnancy: Sex Educators Answer All Your Questions (NEW)
Via: The Female Collective
Via: The Female Collective
~Sex and Relationships Ditties~
Sex and Relationship Dittie: Mondays and Wednesdays on Instagram Reels
Sex and Relationship Dittie: Mondays and Wednesdays on Instagram Reels
I’m so excited to share that my Sex and Relationships Ditties have been doing SO WELL! My top performing video has almost 80k views! Thank you all for being so supportive.
Be sure to go check them out on Instagram, if you haven’t yet. They’re going up every Monday and Wednesday to help spread the good word of sex-positivity to the masses.
Self-care advice by 1FoxyBitch
Self-care advice by 1FoxyBitch
~Ask Gigi~
Ask Gigi: What is a Hypnotic Orgasm?
~Connect with me. I love you.~
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Weekly Wisdom comes in hot to your inbox every single Monday
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