Hello unicorn baby! How are you this morning?
Personally, I’ve had trouble focusing. After a wild birthday weekend, I’ve been kind off-kilter. I didn’t really get back to my regularly scheduled programming of work and responsibilities until Wednesday last.
Yes, I was that hungover. Do I regret it? No. You only turn 30 once, after all. Well, unless you’re my mom, in which case you turn 30 about 9 times.
There is a definite change when you hit 30, a kind of shift away from one part of your life into a new one - one without any fucks left to give. I could almost feel my very last fuck unclasping from me at the strike of midnight, floating away into the ether to be harnessed by some other 2-something person who has space for a fuck to give.
I think you finally realize how little capacity you have for bullshit once you stop giving a fuck. You don’t have room for toxic friends, people who talk shit about you, PR people without boundaries, and other pointless nonsense that takes up time and energy. Mostly people. There’s no more room for anyone who drains you and wants you to give more of yourself than you have on tap.
The thing is: There are a finite few things in the world worth giving a fuck about and you should not waste your precious few fucks on any of them.
In your twenties (and basically your whole life up until now), you spend time worrying if people like you. You can say you “don’t care” all you want, but you do. We should be worrying about whether or not we like ourselves. That’s the most important thing.
Giving up the final fuck can be hard. It can feel like you’re losing something. But you’re not. You’re expanding beyond what you were and who you were. You’re growing up. You’re learning what you will and will not tolerate.
I’ve heard your world gets smaller the older you get. I don’t think this means you stop growing or learn as you get older, I think it just means your intimate life becomes harder to breach. There are so few people worth giving energy to that you have no choice but to put up boundaries and remove those who aren’t worth a moment more. Once you do, I promise you’ll be relieved. I know I was.
When I woke up on my 30th birthday, having let go of that final fuck, I knew a new era had begun. I’m ready for what’s next. Peace out 20s, it’s been real.
This week’s mantras:
- I will protect my energy.
- I will trust my instincts.
- I will put faith in myself.
- I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week!