I know I’m not alone when I say I spend a lot of time doing stuff I’m supposed to be doing.
You fucking know what I’m talking about.
Even when I don’t have a specific task with a deadline, I wind up beating myself up for not doing enough. It feels like if I miss one thing, don’t pitch that one place, or don’t write something the SECOND it gets approved, I’m going to watch my career fall apart before my eyes. It’s like waiting for the other vibrator to drop.
What even is doing “enough?” Is this some kind of great level of higher being we’ll reach if we send one more email, do one more task, finish one more thing on the list? Because frankly, it feels like I’m personally never going to get to that place and I will constantly be in a do-one-thing-feel-guilty-do-another-thing tail spin until I die.
Instead of having our heads shoved up our own asses, can’t we just give ourselves permission to do stuff we actually like? If you’re going to be doing something in order to not mentally spin out, it should sometimes be a thing you actually enjoy doing.
In this frame of thinking, I forced myself to cancel Monday mid-way through the day last week. My husband and I drove an hour away to the hella depressing, hella clinical visa application clinic in bumfuck nowhere to get my fingerprints taken (don’t even get me started, Uncle Sam), then drove another hour to the UPS store to stand in line and send the paperwork to the British embassy. I had a lot of stuff I wanted to get finished - like writing this newsletter for which I had no semblance of a theme, BUT WHY SHOULD THAT STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO, AMIRIGHT?! Lol. Kill me.
Once we got home, after spending a century in the car, I was so goddamn over it. I was tired, cranky, and worn out. So, we canceled the rest of the day and watched Friends reruns. It was 73 degrees and sunny, but we didn’t go for a walk or get cocktails at a bar. We wanted to sit on our butts and watch Friends. And so we did. And it was AWESOME.
I’m all for getting tasks completed - I mean, hi, have you met me? - but I needed the day off. I loved it. I’m giving you permission to do something you like, take the day off, fuck off all your plans, and give yourself permission to stop and enjoy life for a hot second.
We all need this reminder: We are allowed to have fun.
This week’s mantras:
- I will do something I like every single day.
- I will do something good for my heart each day, even if it’s a small thing.
- I will thank myself for allowing my body and mind to rest.
- I will love myself.
Have a great week! I love you.