I got married last week. It was really a magical experience. It was a small ceremony surrounded by our closest friends and family. The next day we went on a boat for an extended celebration.
On Sunday I had terrible anxiety and general dysphoria. Even though I’m embarking on this big journey in a new phase of life it’s like, now what? I’m married. I don’t get to be a bride again. All the planning is over. My big day is now in the past.
I expected to feel relief, but mostly I’m sad and off-kilter. Post-life-changing-event dysphoria is actually very common. You come to the crux of a huge project, a wedding, a party, running a marathon, or anything that has a big impact on you both physically and emotionally, and are left feeling empty. It can be quite unsettling. When you’ve worked for something and finally have it come to fruition, you expect to feel joy. You want to be proud of yourself and happy to have been successful in something you worked your ass off to make happen.
The sadness we sometimes feel is normal. Your brain has experienced a serious high and now the dysphoria you feel is simply your brain trying to recalibrate. Don’t get down on yourself if you feel or have felt this way. It doesn’t invalidate the special thing that happened. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t wonderful.
This week’s mantras:
- I will let myself feel my feelings, even if they suck and hurt and are anxiety inducing.
- I will make a plan for the future, however small, so as not to feel stuck in one, static place.
- I will do something special for myself such as take myself on a date, get my nails done, or buy myself a present.
- I will remind myself daily that I have done something great and the future is bright.
- I will love myself.
Love you. Have a great week.