I am so incredibly sick of people (women specifically, tbh) thinking that they need a man/partner to be worth something. Day in and day out I get emails from women asking me to help them “save” or “work out” their relationships.
They then go on to describe not one or two relationship issues, but a bonafide cheater, liar, general asshole, and/or someone who absolutely wouldn’t give enough of a shit about their relationship to ever email me asking for help. This person is (almost always, no joke) some schlubby dickhead who is completely and totally mediocre in every way.
It’s wild to me that after reading anything I’ve ever written these women would be surprised when I say, without fail: DUMP HIM, GIRL.
They always respond with a “But …. but!!!” They want me to fix their relationship so they don’t have to be alone. They make sad excuses like: “I don’t want to have to start over,” “I don’t want to give up on this relationship over [insert major breach of trust],” or “I don’t want to throw out my relationship. I want to make it work.”
You take the trash out every single day, girl. This is not complex. Until you want to be treated with respect and give enough of a shit about yourself to make that happen, no one can help you. This is conclusion you alone can come to.
You don’t want to hear this, but he doesn’t care about you. He likes how convenient the relationship is. He likes how easy it is to date you. You treat him super well, feed him, fuck him, and take care of him. In return he just has to … agree to be your boyfriend, I guess?
And I hate to break it you, babe, but you look like a pathetic weakling for staying with him. You do. No one envies you. No one would want to be in your shoes. Having a boyfriend doesn’t make you whole. It doesn’t make you special.
Here is the reality: There is nothing wrong with being alone. What’s more, dating a douchebag doesn’t make you look cool. If the opinion of others matters to you (you know it does), I can assure you that you look a lot lamer dating some asshole who treats you like shit than you would being as a single person.
DUMP HIM, GIRL. You can do better. You deserve better. You are fucking awesome. Please, I beg you, demand more for yourself. Don’t fight for something that isn’t worth your time. Stop giving your love to someone who offers you crumbs in return.
This week’s mantras:
- I will not give my time to people who aren’t worth it.
- I will have enough self-love to set myself free from bad relationships.
- I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week.