There really is nothing I find more disappointing and upsetting than people in my industry (and all industries, really) tearing each other down. The need to “take down” other people is really sad, but it happens all the time. While cancel culture often has merit (because people are shit), it also makes doing the work I do very difficult. We’re so quick to blow the whistle on each other and try to discredit the work others do - when really we should be supporting each other, fighting for one another, and joining forces to take down the sinister people all around us that want to hinder sex-positive education.
This week I got a message from a fellow sex educator (and close friend) about a project I’m involved in. She told me that since I’m working with a pharmaceutical company that it could “cause serious damage to my career.” She then went on to imply that I didn’t know what I was doing and failed to do my “due diligence” before agreeing to be involved. She managed to call me both a sellout and stupid all in one patronizing message - all while, of course, saying she turned them down (because she’s better than me, I guess?). I didn’t respond because the only thing that happens when you do so is start a takedown-style fight. And I simply don’t have time for that drama in my life. I’m too busy for that shit.
I had a wonderful time shooting video content for this campaign last week. I am enjoying this project very much. I take pharmaceuticals every single day to stay alive. Sorry, but I am not sorry at all for what I did. If you want to be moralistic and preachy, that’s your business. Stay out of mine. You know that gif where the guy raises his eyebrows like “excuse me?” (if you don’t know what I’m talking click here
) - that was me looking at this message. I was like, “What the actual fuck?”
Listen up: I am going to do whatever the fuck I want. Got it?
Here is the thing: Friends don’t send friends shitty messages like that. For all the great things this sex-positive community does, we wind up taking huge steps backwards when we try to destroy each other. It breaks my heart. I will freely admit I cried over the message. And then … I got over it. Because it was rude and completely inappropriate.
Here is the other thing: Who someone works with or doesn’t work with is none of your business. I’m sick of the sanctimonious bullshit. I’m tired as fuck of the high-horse moralistic nonsense people put on each other. Mind your own ass and leave everyone else the hell alone. I can assure all of the holier than thou, woe-is-me shit is going to come back to bite you in the ass one day.
Be supportive of the people around you. Don’t try to make people feel like garbage because you don’t agree with their choices. It won’t work. It only makes you look like an asshole. Friends don’t do that to friends.
This week’s mantras:
- I have faith in myself.
- I stand my ground.
- I do not let people who want to hurt me take up space in my mind.
- I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week.