A friend of mine had a friend in town a few weeks ago, one we both used to be very close with. The two of us had a falling out years ago and never really got any closure.
I was surprised (and also a little bit unsurprised, if I’m being honest) that this friend hadn’t changed at all. She ditched the group for her ex boyfriend, got sloppy wasted, and generally made a fool of herself. As my brother said, “She’s the same dumb idiot she’s always been.”
It made me feel sad, but also, if I’m being super truthful with myself, it was also a relief. I wish her all the best, but it was good to know that I hadn’t missed out on anything. We grew up together and at some point, I evolved past her and she sort of plateaued.
That can happen with old friends, you know?
It made me realize something really important: You don’t need closure. You just need to accept the lessons you’re handed, take them in, and move the fuck on. Don’t dwell on the past. Don’t stick with friendships for the sole purpose that they have history. It isn’t worth it and it isn’t good for your mental health.
Cut the ties and go live your best, most badass life.
This week’s mantras:
- Just because someone has a history with me, doesn’t mean they deserve to be in my life.
- I will stop torturing myself because a relationship ended in a way I didn’t choose.
- I will strive to grow and learn from the mistakes I make this week, next, and going forward. And I will look to the past.
Love you, have a great week.