Listen, not everything will feel right all the time. Even when you make gains, are killing it in your career, and are living your best life - you may feel sad. You may feel despondent. Dysphoria may take away all the joy.
Bad feelings happen. Our brain’s don’t subscribe to the trite idea of telling yourself to “look on the bright side” or to “just be happy.” It’s OK to focus on past regrets, anxiety, and the uncertainty of the future. It’s OK to feel uncomfortable with success. It’s OK to need a cry. I know you’re hurting. And it’s OK.