Holy crap. Can you believe it’s June already? Every single day it’s the same thing over and over. Suddenly it’s summer and we have nowhere to go. What a thing.
What’s new: I haven’t been sleeping. Last week was been busier than normal. I’ve had a bunch of new writing assignments which, given how calm the waters have been since the pandemic started, felt like a lot.
On top of that, I had my annual Pap this week to determine where my HPV stands and to find out if I need another cervical biopsy
. If you’ve been following my work for a while, you know I have a lot of trauma
around gynecological medical procedures.
Suffice to say, my insomnia reared its ugly head. I’ve battled insomnia for a long time. It’s a byproduct of my anxiety. I wind up barely sleeping, then spend the whole next day exhausted, only to find I’m anxious and pepped the hell up at bedtime again. I try not to take my sleeping medication, because in the past I’ve grown so dependent on it that it stopped working altogether.
Last night, I finally got some sleep - but only after taking a sleep aid. I’ve found that not drinking on Saturday nights has helped tremendously with my anxiety. It has allowed me face the Sunday Scaries without the added downswing of a hangover.
How is going for you? Have you been sleeping?
During times of stress, our sleep schedules often get thrown off. Sleep is the most restorative thing we can do for our bodies and yet when we’re stressed out, we can’t recharge our batteries overnight, leaving us even more stressed than before.
I don’t have a lot of advice around insomnia other than to get into therapy and drink sleepy tea before bed. I’m also going to invest in some blue-light blocking glasses because staring at screens after 6pm can really fuck with your sleep cycle. And mama needs that REM.
This week’s mantras:
- I am capable of everything I have to do. It will get done.
- I am strong. I am fierce.
- I will be gentle with myself.
- I will love myself.
I love you. Have a great week.