There is a pervasive idea in our culture that women should make themselves small. We shouldn’t be too showy, promote ourselves, or be better at things than the men around us. If we are confident, we’re big headed. If we’re proud of ourselves, we’re conceited. If we show our bodies, we’re whores.
Guess what I have to say? Fuck that. Story time!
Last week I won the Sexual Freedom Award
for Journalist of the Year. I immediately posted it everywhere and changed my author bio from “feminist author” to “award-winning feminist author.” You know why? Because I fucking deserved to do that. I won the award. I am proud of it. I am award winning and I am FABULOUS.
On Tuesday I posted a photo of myself in lingerie on IG
. My mom told me she was worried I wouldn’t be taken seriously as a writer and educator. My response?
“Taken seriously as a writer? Excuse me? When you win one of the biggest awards you can win as a sex writer and have a book coming out in two months, I’ll take professional advice from you, OK?”
Don’t make yourself into a tiny box, downplay your awesomeness, or try to be humble because you think people won’t like you. In the words of Gabriel Alexa
, a fellow writer and a true bisexual diva queen: Humility is a fucking scam
. It was invented to put you down. It is a shitty tool employed by the patriarchy to stop you from realizing your greatness.
Don’t buy into that crock of utter shit. You deserve the wins. You should celebrate the wins. You should be as big as you damn well want to be. Own your shine. And if people don’t like it, they can fuck off. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
This week’s mantras:
- I am fabulous and I know it.
- I deserve every blessing in my life.
- I will fight for what I want while being grateful for what I have.
I love you. Have a great week.