View profile

Snakes, but in a theoretical physics way

Cult activity
‘Lo child!
I have the kind of brain that hares off with any idea and starts constructing a world on that basis alone. It’s really an impulse toward synthesis - I like to bring disparate or incompatible things together and see what they make when juxtaposed, and I respond to hard-and-fast rules about what does and does not go together with “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.” I love to take an idea to its natural conclusion, or the most extreme version of it, for the amusement value mostly - what would a world based on that premise be like? If we accepted X as true… what else would have to be true?
No matter how ridiculous your premise, I am willing to entertain it with great gravity and draw entertainingly offbeat conclusions about the world on that basis. Like… okay, here’s a conversation that genuinely occurred in my house recently:
Me, in a stunning display of stoner brilliance: “Why don’t they make necklaces for snakes? You’d think snake owners would want cute accessories… I guess it’s because snakes don’t have shoulders.”
My wife, utterly unfazed by my nonsense: “They also don’t have waists, or wrists, or ankles, so you couldn’t give a snake a belt or bracelet or anklet either.”
Me: “OR… stay with me… you could give a snake a bracelet, belt, and anklet simultaneously by giving them a necklace and just… waiting a while. Which means that from the snake’s perspective, the difference between a necklace and a belt is TIME. We can conclude from this that snakes are partially fourth-dimensional creatures - in addition to size, they also have duration. At some point in the course of a snake, a necklace becomes a belt.”
And there you have it. Could I write a fifteen-page paper defending this idea using theoretical physics? Absolutely, and if I had any confidence at all that anyone besides me would find it hilarious, I would. (If you wish to take up this topic for your dissertation, I recommend starting with determining the trajectory of a snake’s world-line.) Now, is this any kind of marketable skill? Only in academia, my child, and academia doesn’t so much pay you money as take your money.
So we fall back on painting dragon butts, which it turns out is slightly more marketable than being able to construct a sentence.
Really pleased with this mountain dragon’s icy rock. I’m gonna come in later when he has a base (because he’s super tippy; I’ve already broken off those wings twice with my big clumsy sausage-fingers) and sprinkle snow over him.
The wings and shiny scales on his back are the color-shifting paints we got a few weeks back - the ones that didn’t arrive solidified in the bottle, that is! We won’t mention the company that sold them, because they are copyright trolls as well as having bad shipping apparently, but the ones that DO work are pretty cool. That’s the same Celestial Azure on both sides of the wings, it’s just over a different basecoat - black basecoat on the front or inside of the wings, purple on the back. I’m pretty excited to try some other color-shifting paint over different basecoats to see what cool effects I can get.
This week has mostly been work on this huuuuge dragon. I’m working on getting a good clamp/tripod setup for the camera so I can do time-lapses of my painting, because I just love those. If you also just love those, you can see a couple very sped-up minutes of painting on this dragon over on the Gram.
This week's Sermon
Ouroboros
Did you enjoy this issue? Yes No
Gentle Zacharias

A weekly update on the activities of the Gentle Cult, including photographic evidence of our latest unholy creations, congregants' exploits in the field, and highlights from this week's sermons.

In order to unsubscribe, click here.
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here.
Created with Revue by Twitter.