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Gary Wimsett, Jr. - Issue #6

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SSSSpring & It's MK's Birthday!
 

Gary Wimsett, Jr.

March 4 · Issue #6 · View online
The High Five goes out every Friday morning - just in time to jump start your weekend. I'm handpicking five things I think you'll enjoy discovering, listening to, or thinking about as you head out to do great things.

SSSSpring & It’s MK’s Birthday!

Please wish MK a Happy Birthday today if you get the chance! I will not tell you how old she is but Charlotte might. She can’t keep a secret. It’s a big month ‘round these parts with a birthday, an anniversary (18 years!), and a move-in date for our house. This Spring is shaping up nicely.
Did I ever tell you what happened last Spring? After a very wet February, the sun poked out in March and things started stirring. Lily and I were headed to ballet class one fine day when the prettiest snake you ever saw squiggled over to Lily from beneath my front truck tire. Red, yellow, and black striped - she was a beauty! There’s a picture down below for you. It took me a second or two longer than I would have liked to realize I needed to get between it and Lily’s bare foot lickety-split. I grabbed a broom from the porch, jumped about 20 feet toward Lily and the snake and I swept that slippery sucker into the grass. She seemed determined to get to the house, where I’d seen holes in the ground, so I batted her back several times until we both took a moment to size things up. The snake froze and I yelled for Emma to “get me something from the garage” - because by now Emma had come out to see why I was making screaming noises she’d never heard before. Rosie was barking furiously and clawing at the door. I probably should have been more specific because Emma came running out of the garage with a sledgehammer. I tried to make it work. I dropped the broom and started pounding out huge craters in my front yard with my new weapon. The neighbors could only see my two kids standing by as I wildly bludgeoned chunks of seemingly innocent sod. Well this isn’t going to work, I decided, so I pleaded with Emma to go back to the garage AND THIS TIME GET ME SOMETHING SHARP. Lily took the sledgehammer and ran inside and slammed the front door. I was relieved the dog didn’t get out. I grabbed the broom again and used the hard bristles to hold the snake in place by pinning it to the ground. I waited for Emma. Then - a scream and the sound of Lily crying in pain from inside the house! She’d dropped the sledgehammer on her foot. Get ice! I yelled. Emma eventually emerged from the garage. This time with a rusty box cutter. Sharp, but more up close and personal than I expected. Why not one of the long, sharp shovels? Lily was howling now, her ankle was swelling, the dog was going out of her mind. Executive decision time. I dropped to my hands and knees and started slicing. It’s not the way I would have liked for things to go and my general approach is to live and let live, but, friends, I decided I needed to make an exception in this case - the kids and their bare feet, the dog, the holes near the front of the house - and I cut that snake into no less than six not-so-easy pieces. Finally, I simply collapsed into a heap of sweat and adrenaline.
But that was last Spring. And this Spring is coming up daisies. I won’t take up any more of your lovely Spring morning. I had a bunch to say about a great app called Acorns, one of my favorite books of all time - A Confederacy of Dunces, and this video of a Secretary Bird dealing with a snake with blunt force (perhaps the sledgehammer could have worked?) but who has the time. I’d tell you to follow Dezeen on Instagram, and point you to this outstanding article about the Long-Term Effects of Multitasking but I’ve gone overboard already and Spring days are longer but still too short.
Your friend,
Gary
A Coral Snake - In One Piece
Rosie the Retriever. A more pleasant Spring image.
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