Hello all! Welcome back to First Gen, a newsletter about the highs and lows of the first-generation college student experience. This newsletter marks the official return of First Gen and I’m very excited to be back.
It’s been a minute since I was in your inbox. I’m coming to you full of new ideas about the direction of the newsletter and the kind of topics I want to cover but before we look toward what’s next I want to tell you why I left.
Last we spoke, I was just settling into my post-grad life. I had recently started my first job out of college and moved into a new apartment in Brooklyn. These were all plans that had been put into motion months before my graduation but because of the pandemic and all the uncertainty that came with it, everything about this new chapter in my life was slightly off. I was doing the new job I’d been so excited to start from a makeshift workspace in the corner of my bedroom and the big move to New York just felt like a waste of time — an expensive one at that. Like so many others I felt stuck and that turned into sadness which quickly became writer’s block.
I decided in July that I needed to take a hiatus from the newsletter so that I could properly adjust to my new work and life demands. At the time I really believed that I’d get back to it in just a few weeks. Weeks pretty quickly turned into months and after a while, I just didn’t feel compelled to write. The further I got away from my graduation date, the more it felt like I’d worn out my welcome on writing about college student perspectives. I’d centered a lot of my identity (and to a certain extent my brand as a writer) around being a student. Without that, I didn’t feel like I had anything worth sharing.
At some point in the fall, I tried to journal through my thoughts and closed off the entry with this line: “Apparently the only things I’m good at are studying and writing and it turns out I can’t even do that.”