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How are you showing up? - John Doherty's newsletter - Issue #72


John Doherty

September 4 · Issue #72 · View online

Founder of and growth marketing/SEO consultant to enterprise sites. Speaker. They say I'm a Hufflepuff. ENTJ on caffeine. We'll help you find a marketing provider to work with.

Over the last few years I’ve seen a personal shift, and I’m wondering if you have experienced it too.
I used to live from fear - fear of not being good enough, fear of not making enough to pay the bills, fear of being a statistic, fear of disappointing others.
Because of this, I lived life on the defensive. If someone said something about me or to me that felt like it challenged the core of who I am, then I’d go on the attack. Bridges would be quickly burned.
I was recently road tripping across 2/3 of the US from Virginia (where I’m from) to Denver where I live now. My father and I were driving along and talking, and I realized that one of the things I regret most over my career thus far is that I’ve burned bridges that didn’t need to be burned.
I’ve shifted over the last few years, and specifically the last year, to trying to live my life out of abundance and showing up daily for those in my life.
This means driving a longer distance to see someone than I would have before.
This means giving others the benefit of the doubt with their interactions, instead of blasting back at them because they said a few words that trigger me.
This sometimes means stepping away from something for a bit (an email, a blog post) so that I can center myself and come back with gentle guidance instead of blasting through and leaving a wake of debris behind me.
So what about you?
How are you showing up to your work? Are you looking to make others better and working from a mindset of abundance, that people matter most?
Or are you full of self-preservation, just trying to hang on?
No shame in the second, of course. We’re all there from time and time, and sometimes it’s necessary.
If you’re like me and too quick to burn bridges, next time you are tempted to do it do these first:
1) Ask yourself why you are so angry, and deal with that instead of taking it out on a person who might not deserve it;
2) Step away and think about if that is the way you want others to treat you as well;
3) Remind yourself of what is good in the world and that we’re all dealing with our own demons, and that others deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt.
Let me know how that lands for you.
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