One of the joys of life is other people.
I’m sitting at a coffee shop in Brooklyn writing this email because my wife and I are here for the week for a conference for her, client and customer meetings for me, and to be back where we used to live for a bit.
We’ve been here 3 nights now, and each day and night I’ve gotten to see and spend good time with some of my closest friends.
I’ve always known it’s true, but over the last couple of years as I’ve been self-employed and not guaranteed to be around others I have really found myself craving that interaction and others to bounce ideas off of.
At the same time, we need to carefully curate the people that we allow to influence us.
I don’t like to say it, but sometimes we need to move on. Friendships or connections that served us well at one point may not serve us well in the future.
This is an unfortunate part of life, but a reality. What got you here will not get you there.
As I’ve reflected on these ideas over the last few weeks, I’ve come up with a few thoughts on dealing with them:
1) Recognize and value and prioritize those who have been with you through many different phases, as these friendships stick. Realistically as humans we can only have 3-5 very close friendships, so value these deeply.
2) When you recognize the need to move on from a connection, mourn it and do it empathetically. Growing and changing are natural parts of life, but you may have changed and the other person has not and thus moving apart may be painful to them. Empathy is important, but don’t let it block you from doing what you need to do to accomplish your goals.
3) Every time you go to make a big decision, get the input of others. The times in life that I’ve made big changes that worked out well, I consulted with either friends or mentors that could speak into that area. The times I made changes that didn’t work out so well? I didn’t. Lesson learned.
What about you? Do you prioritize time around others who are adding immense value to your life?
Until next week,