on tuesday, i felt my world dissolve as one by one, most of the things i was looking forward to over the next few weeks—all social events: birthdays, hangouts, cons, movie releases, plays, concerts—went up in smoke. there was talk of total lockdowns, of shortages in the shops, of the possibility of already having covid19 and not even knowing it, of having spread it to others. as we went on with our normal work day, it was clear that the arts landscape had changed overnight, plunged into complete darkness ‘for the foreseeable’. i was overwhelmed with tears, and my colleagues and i didn’t even know if hugging was even a thing we could do anymore. we cried together, in the hallway outside the office, and swapped numbers so we can text while in quarantine.