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Intensions, Tensions and Intentional Men. - Issue #15

Consonance Club Newsletter
Consonance Club Newsletter
Hi there!
What’s up? How are you doing? Gege! I’m literally dancing on my chair as I’m writing this. I’m excited!
I was supposed to write something else but this topic came to mind in the middle of the night. Then, as I began to process the mischief my writing would uncover, I started scrimminggg - internally o, before them neighbors would start passing glances.
Anyway, like you already know, I always come through with my promises. This newsletter is not touching anything serious, but it’s not cruise eitherways as we’re still gonna learn a ton while keeping it tech related.
Drumroll please! 🥁🥁
On today’s episode of the newsletter, we’re going to talk about (inserts dramatic silence) Single people in tech! Tada!🥳🥳
Let’s get into it.
So, we’re already in Q3, before you start thinking about work, let me say it in layman’s English, we have already spent half of the year and breaking news: YOU ARE STILL SINGLE!
 Just take a good look at yourself. Tell me, how do you see yourself? As fine as you are, at your age and marital status, upon all the ‘tech bros are hoes’, ‘tech sis are?’, ordinary cutlass you no get. 
Your mates are waxing award-winning albums, but as the alte singer wey you be na, izz only singles you are dropping. 😑
PS: If you are in a relationship, disregard all I just said and move on with the rest of the newsletter. Thanks.😒
Anyway, before you start thinking I’m wicked, I’m actually here to help you out. 
Deep down, I’m sure you know I’m not a wicked person, so, this is what I’ve decided to do.
In this newsletter, I’ve compiled my top 5 instances where tech bros and sis have been the beneficiaries of intentional partners.
So, if you have a crush that you would want to make a move on, or if you want to surprise your partner, here are 5 acts you can borrow a leaf from, because these things definitely wowed all of us.
If you never blow to do any of these things, you can just read and remain tensioned 🙏🙏.
No 5
Life Is Not A Bish, When We Rent a Beach.
Coming in at Number 5 is our bro that rented a private beach that costs around 800k per night for his girlfriend’s birthday! Talk about doingssssssss!
Somebody play that ‘For I Can’t Stop, Falling in Love With You’🤧
No 4
Silver and Gold I Have None, But An iPhone 12 Pro, I Give to You.
Coming up at number 4 is a modern story of the ultimate sacrifice, intentionalism and Shakespearian love.
Our investigative journalist provided me with this insider information that a tech sis sold her Macbook Pro to buy an iPhone 12 for man.
Omo! MacBook wey people dey pray for, somebody sold it to buy iPhone for man. Mad tings I tell you.
That’s just the height of sweetness mehn.
No 3
Love is Thicker than Blood
This one burst my medulla!!!!!!
Coming in at number 3, is a guy that did something extra sweet for his babe on her birthday.
His babe is apparently a fan of the TV series: The Originals. 
So, this intentional man got Joseph Morgan (that’s the guy that plays Klaus) to send her a video wishing her a happy birthday.
All of us in the Association of God Wheners was just watching the video with admiration. Even the aunty sef shock.
Now, because I know that haters are gonna hate and potatoes will potate, our investigative journalists told me that the gesture alone costs around 400k. It’s not free. 
 (Abeg, if this figure is wrong no be me talk am, na Consonance Club Investigative Journalists give me info) T for thanks.
No 2
You Remind Me of A Girl That I Once Knew
Coming up on number 2 is no other than Didicodes!
Didi broke the internet! She broke Buhari’s Twitter with her birthday that happened a while ago.  
Her mans flew her out to Maldives and oh my days!! The gifts kept pouring in like water. Everywhere stewed!!!
Follow her page for more tips and examples on how to be an intentional man.
No 1
You Just Dey Blow Mind, Blow My Mind, Blow My Mind
Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at the winner of this conversation, the one who sits at the head of the table, the one that had TwitterNg giving virtual standing ovations, coming in at Number one is the one and only Kolokodess!!!!!!!!!!! 
Kolokodess’ partner got her land in Scotland, with title deeds and everything. Omo ×1000.
Aseju ni studying law, buying land in Scotland ti wa okay, because at the end of the day both of you can still be addressed as Mi Lord, Mi Lord.
He wow, abi he no wow?
Before I go though, let me quickly give you some honourable mentions that my Consonance Bureau of Intelligence was able to discover and divulge to me.
A number of tech bros have gotten MacBooks for their babes, and there was even a tech bro whose girlfriend sent him half of the money to buy his MacBook. 
Some of us dey hustle for MacBook, una just dey share am like biscuits. Na serious wa!😭
Dear single ladies and gentlemen, I know that I’ve been able to help your life in no small measure with this newsletter. 
There’s no more excuse of, “I don’t know how to approach her’ or ‘I don’t know what to get my babe or my guy.”
Get your crush citizenship by investment in Grenada or the Caribbeans and see if you will not catch their attention😤😤
You’re welcome my dears and yes, I love you too!
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter and keep the conversation going!
Lots of ♥️,
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