Jan 23, 2022

I Wanna Be Like You When I Grow Up😥

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Consonance Club Newsletter

@https://twitter.com/ConsonanceClub

Let’s face it, we’ve all said this before.

Hello dear. How are you doing?

It’s another day, another opportunity to, well… write to my Consonance people.

Back Story:

I’m wrapping up this piece literally the night before TechPoint Build.

I’m in a cool place and I’ve met a lot of Consonance fans here.

Omo, you people are sweet o. 😇 It’s nice to know that people read the newsletter and actually enjoy it. 😩

Anyway, enough of all this mushiness. Hard girl gbera! 😤

Today, we’ll be talking about startup founders.

You know the few times when we’re not dreaming of becoming them or yabbing them on Twitter for being high handed or not paying staff enough money, they’re actually human beings. 😂

Don’t roll your eyes at me joor. Izz not as if I didn’t know you knew they were human before. 😒

Just calm down, I’m going somewhere. I want to do something today.

I want to imagine some of our fav tech bros as contestants in BBNaija. 💀

Hack Sultan: Co-founder of Talent QL

He’ll be the first person to go home. I’m not sure for what exact reasons, but a good guess is, one day a housemate vexes him and he says:

“If to say we dey street now, I for deck you”😂😂

He always wears a face cap though and somehow manages to avoid the cameras, but he makes for a fun housemate sha.

Odun Eweniyi: Co-founder of Piggyvest, Feminist Coalition.

Odun makes a strong contender because she wins a lot of the tasks set for the housemates. She actually makes it to Top 5.

However, she will whine throughout the season about how she misses her dog and she’s sure someone is Nigerianising him at home.

Timi Ajiboye : Co-founder of BuyCoins, Hellicarier.

Timi is the cool, fine guy that everyone likes. Basically the ashawo of businesses as he owns many.

He’s the Leo DaSilva of the house.

He doesn’t make it past Episode 6 though, because he yabbed a housemate that was yarning dust.

Iyin Aboyeji: Co-founder of Andela, Flutterwave.

Iyin is the smart and religious housemate.

He encourages all the housemates to observe daily devotion and he’s the Pere of the house. He doesn’t make it past 5 episodes due to obvious reasons.

Yanmo Omorogbe: Co-founder of Bamboo.

Yanmo is the Dianne of the house who gives us all the tea about her trips and travels.

She advises other housemates about how to invest their Abeg naira.

A housemate double crossed her and got evicted the very next day. Don’t try Benin woman.

Jude Dike: Co-founder of GetEquity

Jude is the person that will enter situationships & loves triangles in the House. He is a mix of both Ozo & Cross.

He gains popularity for wearing the shortest shorts in the house & he leaves the house in a relationship with a female that possesses a massive derriere, a love triangle or both.

Ezra Olubi: Co- founder of PayStack

Ezra is the housemate that wins the Da Viva, Darling tasks for his fashion, hair and androgynous dressing.

He’s quiet most times and he did not Wagmi to the end of the show.

Affiong Williams: Founder of ReelFruits.

Affi is pretty, easy going & largely participates in sporting/fitness tasks

She’s good, once nobody steals the fruits in the fridge.

She however falls in love with another contestant in the house: Tayo and they actually continue the relationship beyond the house.

Hanu Agbodje : Founder of Patricia.

Hanu is the Efe of the house. Nobody sees him coming as a strong contender.

He’s pretty chilled and laid back. He’s the one that will promise other housemates different gifts like a car, when they get out of the house.

Kelvin Umechukwu: Co-founder of Bumpa.

Kelvin is the housemate that makes Sunday parties fun, because of his moves on the dance floor.

He is the Tobi Bakre of the house or a male Liquor Rose if there’s anything like that.

Ola Orekunrin: Founder of Naija Flying Doctors

Ola is the pretty, smart housemate, who surprisingly knows a lot about economics despite studying medicine in school.

She leaves the show early though because she offends two fan bases: OAU alumnae because she constantly accuses them of eating bats.

Then Ibadan people because of the carrot and spinach swallows that she makes.

Charles Njoku: Co-founder of Spire

Charles is that housemate that enters several situationships in the house.

Oh, he eats a lot of full English breakfasts on the show.

He is a merge of Saga & Frodd. Everyone likes him but he spends all his Abeg naira on woman & horribly loses focus.

Ekundayo Temitope: Co-founder of GetEquity.

This is the WhiteMoney of the house.

His own strategy will be to be cooking for everybody and also organising parties.

I’m not sure how well his strategy works..but he stays long in the game.

Modupe Odele: Founder of Vazi Legal.

Moe is the life of the party in the house.

She enters into a couple of ships with fine men and she also leads a protest against Big Brother when he tries to deny them of enjoyment.

She’s the Angel of the house.

Tayo Oviosu: Founder of Paga.

Tayo is the jovial housemate that solves a lot of disputes in the house.

He is actually a Wild Card but he loses focus sha.

This is because he falls in love with the housemate that loves fruits: Affi, and well they continued the relationship after the house.

One wonders where they both are today? 👀 Rumor has it that Tayo has watched Baby Shark over a 100 times. 😂

Yele Bademosi: Co-founder of Bundle, StackShift, NestCoin

Yele is the Jeff of the house. He’s the one that is invested in everyone else’s ships & gives pretty good advice.

He’s also the guy that doesn’t stop talking about crypto.

Rumour has it that he asked the BBN organisers to pay him in crypto if he wins. In fact, another rumour says he mints a BBN coin.

Damilola Odufuwa: Co-founder of Backdrop, Feminist Coalition

Dami is that unicorn housemate that is married.

She doesn’t have wahala once nobody plays with her food.

She misses her family, her girls, her dog, fav TV shows and Tracee Ellis Ross throughout the season sha.

Prosper Otemuyiwa: Co-founder of Eden Life.

Prosper is a fun guy that doesn’t like stress.

He is notorious for using his Abeg naira to pay other housemates to do tasks he doesn’t like for him.

He also adds little ginger when housemates are fighting or insulting themselves, but everyone loves him regardless.

He gains popularity for saying a particular statement everyday:

‘Another day, another opportunity to be world class”

and he makes it to the final.

If all these housemates were in the house, who do you would make it to top 5 and win?

On Important Matters

We have closed applications for the volunteer positions.

If you indicated interest in volunteering with Consonance, we’ll be reaching out to you this coming week.

Thank you so much for your applications.. Didn’t know so many of you want to work with me 🙈 Mo ti blow!

‘I love you all, thank you for loving me, love you alll’

Events & Opportunities

Risevest is hosting an Investment & Wealth Management conference.
Helicarrier is hiring a Product Designer.
Payourse is hiring a Finance Manager (Crypto Experience)
One Route is hiring a Product Marketing Manager
Cova has an opening for a Java Backend Developer.
Backdrop is hiring a Marketing Lead.
HoaQ is hiring a part time Communication Specialist
GetEquity is hiring a Brand and Marketing Designer.

To all our biggest dreams and wildest imaginations🍻

Precious from Consonance.

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