Schlesinger’s wife Betty was driving along, and passed over a bridge at speed, only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.
The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk, and asked, “What’s your hurry?”
“I’m late for work,” Betty replied, somewhat impatiently.
“Oh yeah?” said the cop, “What do you do?”
“I’m a Rectum Stretcher,” she responded.
The cop stammered. “A what?…”
“A Rectum Stretcher!”
“And just what does a rectum stretcher do?”
“Well,” she said, “I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet.”
“And just what the hell do you do with a 6-foot arsehole?” he asked.
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