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June Useless Observations

June Useless Observations
By Corbin Hicks • Issue #237 • View online
Hey {{first_name}},
We’ve made it to July somehow. This year has been flying by, so there are only three more months until my wedding. This also means that we’ve reached another edition of Useless Observations. The previous installment can be found here. I hope everyone is able to enjoy this newsletter over the Independence Day weekend, even though it feels like we lose a little bit of independence every day, but that’s neither here nor there. Enjoy the long weekend and stay away from me as I dwell in Covid isolation. Without further ado, let’s get it started.
  • UO #1: Why do car commercials tell you how fast minivans can go? Who buys a minivan to see how fast it can go from zero to 60 mph? And why does any car have the ability to go over 90 mph if the highest speed limit in our country is 85 mph?
  • UO #2: Speaking of minivans, I find it hilarious that it only takes two people to deem a car a “high occupancy vehicle”. Most cars have 4, 5, or even more than 6 seats but all you need is two people and an entire lane of the highway opens up to you. There has to be a better way to use roads so that we can either get more high occupancy vehicles or get fewer cars with only single occupants off of the road.
  • UO #3: Why does every person on a contest or competition show have to have a sob story? I don’t need to know that your Uncle Ben and Aunt May both died when you were a child. All I care about is how well you can make a dessert in 20 minutes before you get Chopped.
  • UO #4: Speaking of sob stories, I’m really tired of seeing billion-dollar corporations donate to charities but only if they match my contributions. I don’t need to see Mastercard donating one penny from every transaction that I make. Donate your own cents and dollars Mastercard! Why are you funneling my dollars to these charitable causes and not simply donating on your own?
  • UO #5: In baseball, if you get a hit and make it to first base it’s called a single. If you make it to second a double and if you make it to third it’s a triple. But if you hit a home run, it’s never called a quadruple.
  • UO #6: Speaking of sports teams, if you show up to a sporting event wearing the attire of a team that is not participating in said sporting event, you should be banned from entering and be forced to go somewhere else.
  • UO #7: At the 64th Annual Grammy Awards, Jon Batiste’s “We Are” won the Grammy for Album of the Year but lost the Grammy for Best R&B Album to Jasmine Sullivan’s “Heaux Tales”. How is your album the best album of the year if you didn’t even win the best album in your genre’s own category? And if Jasmine Sullivan’s album was the best R&B album of the year why wasn’t she included in the nominations for Album of the Year?
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Jazmine Sullivan - Pick Up Your Feelings (Official Video)
Jazmine Sullivan - Pick Up Your Feelings (Official Video)
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Corbin Hicks

"The Power Elite" meets "Rules for Radicals"

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