Asking the family of the bride for permission to marry is a fairly common practice around the world, and the African American community is no exception from this old-school courtesy call. But did you know that requesting a bride’s hand in marriage is a tradition that can be traced back to a certain African country?
This particular ceremony (also known as “kookoo ko”) begins with a groom knocking on the door of the bride’s home and waiting for entry. When the groom’s knock is accepted, his delegation presents gifts like money and spirits for libation. Once his intentions are announced, both families discuss prospects of becoming one before providing their blessing. When the terms are finalized, the bride is called in and gets asked three times by her father if she agrees to the proposal.
Celebrations begin after the bride says “yes” to each request, thus making the pair’s engagement official. These days, knocking on the door is done as a sign of respect for the bride’s family, and she has final say in the matter. A modern and much simpler option can range from a family dinner to a brief phone call—no dowries required. In which African country did this tradition originate?