Note 21: Alright, SPs, let’s go do the news section. If you live in Kansas, thank you for making our week. If you don’t, we still love you. Have a great, sexy day!
You know how DHS and the Secret Service wiped their phones from Jan. 6 and it’s a shocking cover-up that makes it really fucking clear that we can’t trust the department or the agency until we clean house? Well they did the same fucking shit at the Pentagon. This is a MASSIVE cover-up of a domestic terror attack on the United States launched by a sitting president. We’ve just about run out of words for how fucked up that is. More: CNN
Not bad, right? Yes, we’re very proud of ourselves. We’re also crapping our pants over the freakshow slate of candidates that Arizona Republicans nominated. For the U.S. Senate, they picked Blake Masters, a man who wants to do away with “entitlement” programs and who loves to praise Nazis (true story). Then you have SOS candidate Mark Finchem, who is a no-good piece of shit insurrectionist who will not certify elections that Democrats win. And lastly, thanks to a late night ballot dump which we’re sure means fraud, Crazy Eyes Kari Lake will likely be the gubernatorial nominee. If even one of these fuckers gets in, we can kiss our democracy goodbye. More: Yahoo News
Loose Cips sink ships
Ok so that one is not as good. But you’ll still be happy to know that Trump White House counsel Pat Cippilone has received a subpoena from the D.C. grand jury investigating Jan. 6. This is big news. There are reports that he will try and fight it by claiming executive privilege, but that dog won’t hunt. It feels like prosecutors are closing in. It also feels like they’re racing against the clock. More: CNN
In between getting mercilessly dunked upon by his opponent
, John Fetterman, Pennsylvania’s Republican candidate for Senate, Mehmet Oz, spends his time being extremely creepy to women. More: Jezebel
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