Yeah, we’ll just build a wall around Rubio’s integrity. It won’t cost a penny or need one single goddamn brick. Anyway, we’re still pretty much anti-wall, but this has been today’s reminder that we are up against some truly sick fuckers and so we can’t take elections off unless we want these shit-breathing scumbags telling us what to do, breaking up our families and just generally fucking everything up. Have a blessed day.
Note two: Don’t forget to circle on your calendars Aug. 5 at 1 PM EDT! That’s when we’re doing the Great American Scream! Because everyone is seriously about to lose it and collectively letting off some steam might just do us some good.
Note three: Quick reminder that we’ll be off tomorrow. It’s absolute shit timing with tonight’s hearing, and we are so fucking sorry.
Note four: God Rubio sucks. With all the Ron Johnsons and Ted Cruzes and Rand Pauls, we sometimes forget what a horrible little shart skidmark Rubio is. Nice of his little punk ass to remind us.
: You can relax, everyone. The feds are finally closing in on Hunter Biden. We know you’ve been worried about it. Oh wait. You probably think it’s as fucking stupid as we do. More: CNN
Note six: We know y’all don’t need a reminder that Melania is what shit shits out. But here’s one anyway.