Note four: It only took two and a half years and a goddamn Russian invasion, but we finally got an ambassador to Ukraine. More:
NBC News
Note five: We don’t talk enough about how Trump totally rigged the census, got away with it and now we’re stuck with bullshit numbers for the next decade. More:
NPR
Note six: A group is pushing to disbar Ted Cruz. If it was us, we’d start with an exorcism and then a wedgie and then disbarment. But we like this too. More:
NY Times
Note seven: Trump keeps screaming for “Dr.” Oz to cheat and claim victory and not one dumbfuck Trumper has realized that gives up the whole game. Or maybe they just don’t care. More:
CNN
Note eight: Holy shit, the Senate is finally going to authorize $40 billion for Ukraine after Rand Paul held it up for a week. But it ain’t like he knows what it’s like to fight in a war. And getting your ass whooped by the neighbor doesn’t count. More:
CNN
Note nine: Have y’all seen The Lost City with Sandra Bullock? It’s really fun. But it’s Sandra Bullock so you didn’t need us to tell you that.
Note 10: Biden went big for baby formula yesterday. Republicans who want babies to starve are gonna be pissed. More:
NY Times
Note 11: Alrighty, SPs, let us get our hot asses on over to the news. We think the shorter notes section is working well, but y’all know we always want to hear from you. We hope y’all are having a great week. It’s almost over, so hang in there, you gorgeous freedom fighters.
Well bye
Elon Musk, who wouldn’t be shit if President Obama hadn’t helped him get Tesla going big, now says he’ll vote Republican because Democrats are no longer the party of “kindness.” LOL. Does anyone believe that? Well on behalf of Democrats everywhere, Elon, go fuck yourself. Go join the ranks of the Trump kissasses where you belong. All that money and still a complete fucking loser.
This seems bad
So basically we don’t have a Securities and Exchange Commission anymore. Yeah, the lawless Fifth Circuit has just been making shit up for a while now and yesterday they pretty much killed the administrative state. They are seriously just making shit up without regard for law or consequences. Like are we supposed to invest in the stock market after this shit?
Go VP!
While we’ve been enormously disappointed by Joe Biden’s muted response to the news that Roe is going down, we are delighted to see Vice President Harris picking up the ball and running with it. Today the VP will meet virtually with abortion providers, which is exactly the kind of offense we want to see. And the American people are with her. A new NPR poll finds that Democratic voters are fired up over the decision, and we now have a 47-42 lead on the generic ballot. The same poll found that the news made two-thirds of Democrats more likely to vote against 40 percent for Democrats.
Today’s clips
Support Today’s Big Stuff
If you have a friend, family member, or neighbor that would like to sign up for this free daily newsletter they can go to
TodaysBigStuff.com.
Unlike a lot of soulless Washington newsletters, you won’t see us making out with defense contractors or oil companies for a little extra ad money. It’s gross as hell, and they won’t return our calls. Our goal is to keep Today’s Big Stuff free and available for anyone who needs a laugh during these trying times. But we need your help to do it.
Your donations help us cover the costs of distributing this newsletter and allow us to keep it pure, honest and foul-mouthed as a motherfucker.
So much of the media these days are pulling their punches and afraid to tell the truth because they don’t want to piss off their advertisers. Not us! Advertisers don’t want anything to do with us, and if they did, we would piss them off in like two seconds.