Today's Big Stuff 5.12.22

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Today's Big Stuff by Adam Parkhomenko & Sam Youngman
5.12.22
It’s Thursday. There are 181 days until the midterm election. Ron Johnson is a piece of crap, Finland leadership moves to join NATO and we need everyone to get out and protest this weekend.
Be advised: We’ll cuss twice as much today to make up for yesterday’s non-cussing communique. 
Note: Fuuuuuuuuck!!!! Sorry, Sexy Patriots, but we don’t really know what else to say. Fuuuuuuck!!!!! You already know that America took a big step toward becoming a goddamn Taliban truck stop bathroom this week. And to be perfectly honest, we have no idea what to say about it. So let’s listen to her…

Herbie Ziskend
After failed Senate vote, @VP weighs in on what’s next: “Elect pro-choice leaders at the local, state, and federal level.” https://t.co/SoxlH35c7F
She’s right. This is our only option. We have to elect more Democratic senators to make Joe Manchin irrelevant. 
Look, this has been a hard couple of weeks. And if we could sugarcoat that shit for y’all, we would. But it’s all shit and no sugar. Still, we know y’all are all sugar, and that’s the branch in this falling tree that we’re clinging to. 
So this weekend, there are going to be protests. Our advice is to go find comfort in numbers. Lift up your voice and be heard. It’s time these monsters heard our Fuck Yous and saw our middle fingers. So let’s give it to ‘em. 
Note two: Some bad news — Sam caught some crud, so we’re gonna have to take tomorrow off. We’re so sorry we haven’t been our dependable cuss-y self this week. We’ll make it up to you next week we promise. 
Note three: If we can shamelessly self-promote for a moment, Sam interviewed superstar Aimee Mann, and she had some thoughts about the fall of Roe. More:
Aimee Mann on Overturning Roe v Wade: 'Women Just Won't F-cking Put Up With it Anymore'
Note four: Finland leaders are calling for NATO membership without delay. We love to see this for many reasons. It is also going to call Putin’s bluff. Fuck yea! More: Associated Press
Note five: A Florida judge has thrown out the GOP friends congressional map. More: CBS News
Note six: The rigged SCOTUS is meeting for the first time today since they were exposed More: CNN
Note seven: The US has officially hit one million COVID deaths. We know many of you, including us, have lost loved ones. We are thinking of you all today. More: CNN
Note eight: This is some really fucked up shit More: NPR
Note nine: If you need something uplifting to read you should check this out. We like good samaritan stories: CBS12
Note 10: Nebraska Republicans are in complete chaos More: Associated Press
Note 11: It is really exhausting doing this with Sam sick. We need his ass back here ASAP.
Note 12: Did we say how much we miss Sam? I think this maybe the first time Adam ever said that.
Note 13: When he’s right, he’s right.
Adam Parkhomenko
Hakeem Jeffries is fucking done with Clarence & Ginni Thomas. https://t.co/ta5GupxAEb
Note 14: We are going to keep this short because we have posters to start making for this weekends protests. We love you all. We appreciate how much you fight every single day. We appreciate you coming back here to say FUCK ALITO with us. We appreciate you coming back here to say FUCK CONEY BARRETT with us. We appreciate you coming back here to say FUCK CLARENCE THOMAS and his wife GINNY with us. We appreciate you coming back here to say FUCK GORSUCH with us. Or is it GORSUCK? We appreciate you coming back here to say FUCK KAVANAUGH with us. Yea, really fuck that guy. Also, did we say FUCK MITCH McCONNELL today? Don’t stop fighting. Don’t stop peacefully protesting. You all are amazing. You are sexy patriots. And as long as you keep coming back we will be here.
FUCK RON JOHNSON
Ron Johnson celebrates the Fourth of July in Moscow. Ron Johnson thinks COVID vaccines give people AIDS. Ron Johnson hates Women.
Make sure every single person you know in Wisconsin knows that Ron Johnson is a fucking terrible human being who is on the ballot this year and must be removed from the US Senate at the ballot box. More: Rachel Maddow, Esquire
FUCK PUTIN
Finland leadership is making moves to join NATO without delay. We are including this in TBS today twice because it is incredibly important news. With the potential of Ukraine not being in NATO for the foreseeable future, Finland is calling Putin’s bluff and giving him the big middle finger. Not only has Putin humiliated himself and shown how weak his military is but he continues to unite the world. NATO isn’t perfect. But this is a good move by Finland. More: Associated Press
PROTEST THE FUCK OUT OF YOURSELF THIS WEEKEND
Get out there and protest. If you are not in a position to - whatever the reason might be - ask your friends, family and neighbors to get out there. Spread the word. Let’s make our voices heard. We love you all! Here is a link where you can find events taking place this weekend: EVENTS. And we would never normally recommend you check facebook if you are still on there because we hate you know who but - if your friends have posted local protests taking place on there then sign up and spread the word. We cannot afford to unilaterally disarm on that platform right now.
CLIPS
No clips today. We love you all. We will see you back here on Monday.
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Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman
Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman

The way the news should sound when the whole fucking world is on fire.

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