View profile

Today’s Big Stuff 11.18.22

Today's Big Stuff by Adam Parkhomenko & Sam Youngman
Today’s Big Stuff 11.18.22
Happy Friday. There are 718 days until the presidential election. A new generation of leaders rises, Kevin McCarthy’s having trouble corralling his idiots and another Republican convicted over the Russia hoax.
Be advised: This newsletter uses bad words like fuck and shit and Mitch McConnell.
Note: Sexy Patriots!!! Happiest of Fridays to you. How the eff are y’all today? Sexy and patriotic? We knew it! Us? We’re fantastic. But we’re also not dipshit red-pilled rich boys shitting our pants for the whole world to see. We’ve got a couple things we wanted to do in the opening note today before we take off for a long week of recharging the ol’ batteries. 

First, we just can’t say enough about how much Speaker Pelosi has meant to us, to this country and to the world. She might be the best House Speaker this country has ever had. She got us through Trump, she got us through Dubya and on Jan. 6, she held democracy’s hand and guided it through a terrifying night of violence and chaos. What she’s done this last two years alone would put her on a short-list of most effective leaders ever. Also, she really fucked with Trump, and we will never ever stop being grateful for that. Madam Speaker, on behalf of Sexy Patriots everywhere, THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!!!!
Second, since we’re taking off for Thanksgiving, we just wanted to say how thankful we are for all of you. This newsletter has come to mean so much to us, and that’s because of you. Since we launched this gorgeous fucker almost four years ago, we’ve done some big shit together. Hell, we saved this goddamn country twice. It is what it is because you are what you are, and we are really fucking grateful. Thanks for making a cussing newsletter smile:)
Note two: Did you go on twitter last night to say goodbye and make jokes about billionaire butthead boy? It was pretty fun. We’re gonna miss that site. The butthead not so much. 
Note three: Dolly Parton just dropped a greatest hits album. It’ll be a damn holiday miracle if we get this newsletter done now. 
Note four: GEORGIA GEORGIA GEORGIA!!!!!! Remember how much we all hate Manchin and Sinema? Well this is our chance to ignore one of those assholes forever. What are you doing to help?
Note five: How awful is Kari Lake? A beloved dead rock star is telling her to stop playing his music (h/t Rid).
Tom Petty
The Tom Petty estate and our partners were shocked to find out that Tom’s song “I Won’t Back Down” was stolen and used without permission or a license to promote Kari Lake’s failed campaign.
Note six: Another Dub for the win column! We flipped the House in Pennsylvania! They said Democrats don’t care about down ballot races. Maybe that was before a bunch of scumbags attacked our country and started taking away people’s rights. More: WGAL
Note seven: So we need to be fucking furious at Joe Biden for a minute. Y’all know we love Dark Brandon, but he is giving Saudi Prince MBS immunity from lawsuits over killing Jamal Khashoggi and we are fucking livid. AND AFTER THE SAUDIS JUST TRIED TO SWING AN ELECTION BY RAISING GAS PRICES?!!!! Make it make sense, someone. Because this just seems shitty and stupid. More: NPR
Note eight: Just a reminder that there are people on trial for SEDITIOUS CONSPIRACY against our country. They did it for Trump. Closing arguments are expected today. More: CNN
Note nine: It’s pretty crazy watching Ticketmaster piss off Gen Z. They should ask the Republican Party how that turns out. More: NPR
Note 10: Sigh. The whole goddamn motherfucking 2016 election was about classified information. And then the press just stopped caring.
Geoff Brumfiel
BREAKING: An intelligence briefing slide obtained by @NPR through the Freedom of Information Act proves that President Trump tweeted classified material in 2019.

Note 11: Russia appears to be open to a prisoner swap for Brittney Griner. If you pray, pray for her to get home. More: Axios
Note 12: Biden is having a meeting today on inflation. Republicans are talking about Hunter Biden. More: WITN
Note 13: The Jan. 6 committee interviewed Bobby Engel, Trump’s Secret Service lead on Jan. 6. They should also interview NBC’s Peter Alexander and ask him why he was so eager to smear Cassidy Hutchinson. More: NBC
Note 14: Some House Republicans are worried about the strategy of going after Joe Biden instead of focusing on shit normal people care about. LOL. Then they picked the wrong fucking party. More: Axios
Note 15: Goddamn we are gonna miss her…
Pelosi: With these elections, the people stood in the breach and repelled the assault on democracy. They rejected violence and insurrection. In doing so, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there
Note 16: Lauren Boebert’s race ain’t over! She’s still leading, but now the margin has pushed the race to automatic recount territory. It’s gonna be tough, but don’t give up hope! And stay the fuck away from her husband. Trust us. More: CNN
Note 17: House Republicans are going to kill a committee focused on climate change. So in other words they want to kill the planet. What’s crazy is that isn’t even shocking to say anymore. Of course these lunatics want to destroy the planet. More: Bloomberg
Note 18: Something we learned yesterday — Nancy Pelosi eats a hotdog with mustard and relish for lunch EVERY DAY. This is like when someone lives to be 110 and we find out they drank a fifth of bourbon and smoked two packs of camels every day. We don’t understand it, but it clearly works!
Note 19: Oh and btw the CFO of the Trump Organization is on trial. He’s mostly taking one for the worst team ever, but in a normal world, the press would be howling about how bad this is for orange dingus. More: AP
Note 20: And on that note, let’s go do some news and then go do some turkey! Well, not do some turkey. Eat some turkey. That’s better. We love y’all so fucking much, and we are endlessly fucking grateful to you for joining us here and for fighting to save this country from the shitheads. We hope y’all have an amazing break, and we’ll see you back here afterwards. 
Youth movement
Democratic leadership is about to get a lot younger. Speaker Pelosi wasn’t the only person to announce she was stepping down yesterday. Steny Hoyer did too. And Jim Clyburn is going to be an assistant speaker. Today we’ve seen Hakeem Jeffries announce his plan to run for leader. He has already been endorsed by the big names. Katherine Clark and Pete Aguilar are expected to round out the team. Don’t look now, but Democrats are in array.
More: CNN
The opposite of array
LOLOL. On the other hand, House Republicans are already making an absolute mess, and this one is pretty hilarious to watch. Matt Gaetz and insurrectionist Andy Biggs are swearing up and down they won’t back McCarthy for Speaker. He can only afford to lose four votes and the count is already at three (Good). Fortunately for him, the rest of the caucus are totally normal and cool. LOLOL!!! Enjoy your break, Kev!
Shitty hoax
Another Republican has been found guilty of working with Russia to interfere in the 2016 campaign. Jesse Benton, who is related to Ron and Rand Paul by marriage and was Mitch McConnell’s campaign manager in 2014, was found guilty by a jury of trying to get Russian money to Trump’s campaign. Benton had already been pardoned by Trump for campaign finance violations stemming from a different campaign. The law and order crowd, folks!
More: CNN
Today’s clips
Evangelical figures who previously supported Donald Trump are backing off now that he’s announced his third bid for the presidency. More: HuffPost
Kyle Rittenhouse, the rifle-wielding teenager who shot two unarmed racial justice protesters to death in Kenosha, Wisconsin, two years ago, met with members of the GOP Second Amendment House caucus on Thursday. More: HuffPost
Support Today’s Big Stuff
If you have a friend, family member, or neighbor that would like to sign up for this free daily newsletter they can go to
Unlike a lot of soulless Washington newsletters, you won’t see us making out with defense contractors or oil companies for a little extra ad money. It’s gross as hell, and they won’t return our calls. Our goal is to keep Today’s Big Stuff free and available for anyone who needs a laugh during these trying times. But we need your help to do it.
Your donations help us cover the costs of distributing this newsletter and allow us to keep it pure, honest and foul-mouthed as a motherfucker.
So much of the media these days are pulling their punches and afraid to tell the truth because they don’t want to piss off their advertisers. Not us! Advertisers don’t want anything to do with us, and if they did, we would piss them off in like two seconds.
So please chip in what you can and let’s keep Today’s Big Stuff for the people! Make a contribution here.
Did you enjoy this issue? Yes No
Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman
Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman

The way the news should sound when the whole fucking world is on fire.

In order to unsubscribe, click here.
If you were forwarded this newsletter and you like it, you can subscribe here.
Created with Revue by Twitter.