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Today's Big Stuff 10.29.22 🎃

Today's Big Stuff by Adam Parkhomenko & Sam Youngman
10.29.22
It’s Saturday. There are 10 effing days until the midterm elections.
Be advised: This newsletter occasionally has so much cussing to do that it spills over to a Saturday.
Note: Sexy Patriots! We’re sorry to bug you on a Saturday, but we just figured since everything is all tense and scary and fucked up we’d drop you a note to say hi. If you’re out on the streets knocking on doors or sitting at your phone making calls or sending texts or if you’re under the bed in the fetal position thinking about some really scary shit, TBS wanted to say we see you, we appreciate you and we love you. Knowing y’all, you’re out there busting your asses for democracy. We’re damn grateful. 
We also wanted to ask you to stop repeating the rumor about Kevin McCarthy being forced to do a degrading dance for Trump at Mar-a-Lago as penance for his brief disloyalty when Trump’s domestic terrorists were trying to kill ol’ Kev and he accidentally stood up for himself. He most definitely probably didn’t have to stand on a small cocktail table wearing a bikini and singing “I am a sad loser, and I like to eat Trump farts” over and over again. We honestly don’t know where this wild shit comes from, but please also don’t share the part about Trump hurling a nickel at him that hit him square between the eyes and knocked him off that small cocktail table into a puddle of Lindsey Graham’s urine. The goddamn internet, right? Crazy. Thank you for being so responsible. We love y’all, and we’ll see you on Monday. 
Note two: Also, we’re sending love to the Pelosi family. We know y’all are too. 
Note three: Here’s an instant classic Obama burn to enjoy this weekend… 

Aaron Rupar
Obama: "Some of you may not remember, but Herschel Walker was a heck of a football player... does that make him the best person to represent you?... let's say you're at the airport & you see Walker & you say, Hey, there's Herschel, Heisman winner. Let's have him fly the plane!" https://t.co/ObyfIsOAEA
Note four: If you’re trick or treating this weekend, dress up as Matt Gaetz and really scare the shit out of the neighborhood. Please have a safe and fun and possibly weird Halloween. Love y’all. 
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Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman
Adam Parkhomenko and Sam Youngman

The way the news should sound when the whole fucking world is on fire.

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